199. Hoof Hearted Brewing (Marengo, OH) - Permanent Marker Pen Disguises - UPDATED

“‘Falcon’ & ‘Bubblegum’ put considerable effort into ensuring the heist went off without a hitch. Completely cranked on oil cans of Thunderzone, they set forth with their plan. First things first, they synchronized their (s)watches. Diversionary tactics were discussed, and off-brand smoke bombs and whippersnapper firecrackers were the consensus. An important game of Rock, Paper, Scissors determined who would be the bag man and who would drive the get-away cloth-topped Lebaron. One banana would be spray-painted matte black and used in place of a gun. With burner phones nestled deep in the pockets of each leather duster, one Ronald Reagan + 1 Richard Nixon mask were all the that (sic) were left to apply. ‘Bubz,’ his cohort started, ‘where’s them masks you picked up from work?’ ‘Looks like we’re going to have to improvise.’”

I swear I’m not making it up. That’s what's on the can and on the website—word for word. Those charming-looking polyps at the top of the foam are what can happen when you pour an overcarbonated beer into a mug. There’s an anise or fennel flavor in there, and it tastes strongly of alcohol, even though it’s only 7.0%. There’s something else in there, but I can’t quite place it—maybe that shit they put on your teeth at the dentist for an extra $24 that insurance won’t cover?

Updated 5/9/2020:
I came back to this one a day later, after popping one open and leaving it in the fridge right before we went to hike in the Yellowwood State Forest—but almost six hours later, it was still too carbonated. However, the anise-or-fennel flavor was no longer present. It’s probably more like tropical fruit and citrus, but still tastes strongly of alcohol. It’s also unfiltered as fuck, so there’s a shitload of yeast at the bottom of the can. That might be what’s making this one taste a little bit chalky, but I’m not sure.