Sunday, September 25, 2022

477. Wiseacre Brewing Co. (Memphis, TN) - Gotta Get Up to Get Down

“Magical natural process beans from the Konga region of Ethiopia lead the way in this beautiful coffee stout. This rare variety of coffee leads to aromas of sweet roastiness and flavors of blueberry pie. Lactose, or milk sugar, is added along with oats for a silky medium body and a lush finish. Red Bull and vodka done the long way for old men, not teenagers.”

And I didn’t even know about the blueberry pie or the oats when I bought it—though whether it’s the lactose or the oats that makes it so smooth, I don’t know. What’s interesting is the interplay between the blueberry pie and the coffee—though I have to be honest and say that if the website description had not said blueberry pie, I would not have gotten there myself. I can taste it, though—both the ripe blueberries and the bready crust. The coffee flavor is mild, floating somewhere in the background and providing balance for the sweetness. The combination of the two is remarkable. This is the best new beer I’ve tried in a long time.

Sunday, September 18, 2022

476. Wiseacre Brewing Co. (Memphis, TN) - Bow Echo

“When you’ve reached your all time low, you need a parking lot veggie burrito and the warm snuggle of a stranger’s husky (probably named Stash), the winds of change may find this beer landing in your hand. A vigorous dry hopping with Mosaic, Citra, Denali, and Centennial hops add tons of citrus and ripe tropical fruit flavor while oats add the fluffy texture. It may look strange, but they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder (if you’re an IPA traditionalist we recommend closing them). However, you won’t regret trying this clouded up version. Your vision may be blurry from staring into life’s bowl of horseshoes or within the thought sausage of unintelligible words inside a glowing book of sleepless dreams, but Bow Echo will help your eyes climb to safety and the chilly water will take care of the rest.”

There’s a lot of fruit flavor going on here, and most of it—papaya, coconut, and maybe a hint of lemon—is ephemeral; but a nice touch of peach lingers pleasantly on the back end. You’d think there would be some pine, or traditional “hop” flavor, with Mosaic and Centennial in the mix, but neither is present. The weather geek in me wants to like this beer because of its name—a bow echo is a Doppler radar signature that indicates a complex of severe thunderstorms that have been pushed out into the shape of a bow by the strength of the wind behind them—but that ain’t sufficient for a thumbs-up. The 7% ABV is fine, and the dry finish that I begin to detect halfway through the third beer is also fine; but I don’t want to have to drink three of something in order to find out if it’s working for me. I want something to impress me enough on the first that I want to have the second. (It’s also entirely possible that I’m picking at nits just because that description from their website is both fucking stupid and bad writing.) This beer does not impress me, but it’s not bad.

Friday, September 09, 2022

475. Sun King (Indianapolis, IN) - All Them Llamas

“All Them Llamas is an IPA brewed with experimental hops for notes of peach, sweet melon, and apricot.”

And we’re back to the familiar world of meh offerings from Sun King. Very light flavors—all of which are so mashed up that this should be the beer they serve at Rock Sugar concerts—and a smooth finish, but nothing that makes you want to look up from what you were already doing and take note.

Thursday, September 08, 2022

474. Sun King (Indianapolis, IN) - Surf Lessons

“Surf Lessons is an IPA brewed with Sabro Hops for notes of tangerine, coconut, and pineapple.”

The individual flavors have a little more space to work with here, with a hint of coconut and a broader citrus flavor that could certainly be tangerine but isn’t as specific as the coconut. Both obscure any taste of pineapple, but that’s a difficult flavor to achieve with the kind of clarity necessary for you to be sure that it’s there. That said, its complexities are more evident than the ones in Turtle Thunder, and it apparently doesn’t make me feel like I need launch into a screed about the disappointing way that Sun King only ever seems to package its least interesting beers. It also hits the IPA ABV sweet spot, which for me is anything that begins with the numeral 7. (In this case, it’s 7.8%.) Anything under 7% too often feels like it’s not serious—or, worse, like it’s aiming for a session, which way too often turns out to be uninteresting for all kinds of other reasons—and anything over 7% makes me uncomfortable about drinking two in one go. And now, all of that said too, I’m still not sure I like it; but it ain’t bad.

Wednesday, September 07, 2022

473. Sun King (Indianapolis, IN) - Turtle Thunder

“Turtle Thunder is an IPA brewed with a blend of Southern Hemisphere Hops for notes of tropical fruit, citrus, and stone fruit.”

I taste a whole mash-up of things, and none of them really stand out, except for a bit of citrus at the end; but even that is non-specific. I get that local breweries make hella more money when you come in and tip a couple in the taproom, but there has to be a happy medium—especially a place with as wide a reach as Sun King. I know I harp on this whenever I post something from Sun King, but they have the resources. Black Circle does not. Kismetic Beer Company does not. Indiana City does not. Even Black Acre does not, though they have been around nearly as long as Sun King and produce at least as wide a range of beer as Sun King (if not the volume—as far as square footage for brewing in Indianapolis goes, Sun King is so far out in front that it doesn’t even matter who comes in second). You could maybe argue that Daredevil and Quaff ON! have the square footage and resources, but they are also much more focused in terms of what they produce. Pound for pound, based solely on what they package, Taxman beats every brewery I’ve mentioned here to hell and gone—and even they don’t package nearly all of what they produce. With Sun King, you get variations on IPAs and cream ale (neither of which are ever very interesting); they can do better than that, and they should—espcially for those of us in Marion County.

Sunday, September 04, 2022

Deep Thoughts #298

I hope that every fucktard human being who ever voted for Donald Trump is forced to get their drinking water from Pakistan for fucking ever.

Deep Thoughts #297

Darwin almighty, I wish I could shake this dry cough I’ve been having for the last thirteen weeks. Is there some kind of virus going around?

Deep Thoughts #296

Want to make America great? Stand upright, get an education, and don’t vote for Republicans. You can do better than your uninformed parents.

Deep Thoughts #295

Explain why you vote for Trump, inbreed. Did you flunk out of school, or just stop going? Did your baby daddy not pull out when he promised?

Deep Thoughts #294

I bet that Melania has to push Marjorie Taylor Greene out of bed if she wants to part the tangerine pubes and suck Donald Trump’s limp dick.

Deep Thoughts #293

Sorry…didn’t mean to leave anyone out. Any human being who thinks Donald Trump is valid is a moron, not just the mouth-breathers on Twitter.

Deep Thoughts #292

I’m totally surprised I didn’t turn into a zombie yesterday, being vaccinated and all. Those Trumpy Twitter morons seemed sure that I would.