504. Stone Brewing (Escondido, CA) - Hazy IPA

“Stone Hazy IPA comes in at an easy 6.7% and less bitter than our other IPAs, but still blooming with bold, juicy flavors. This amazingly hazy IPA features El Dorado and Azacca hops which bring tons of citrus & fruit elements while intense Sabro hops highlight the big, tropical notes of this beer. The result of this unique hop combination is a groovy, juicy citrus bomb with tons of orange, lemon, melon, mango and pineapple flavors & aromas.”

They must have used some kind of mystery hops for the description, because it says nothing about how they ginned up the hyperbole. Do you really want to bring that much different fruit into one beer? You might as well call it a Fruit Cocktail IPA. Not bad, but not remotely interesting.

318. Stone Brewing (Escondido, CA) - Tangerine Express

“This creation’s uniquely hazy appearance is a credit to the glorious whole tangerine purée in every batch. Using the whole fruit allows us to harness every bit of its natural depth of character. Pithy, crisp bitterness complements its distinct juicy citrus. Just the right amount of pineapple and, this being Stone, a whole lot of hops round out this beer in an amazingly hazily citrusy tasty paradise of flavors and aromas.”

Citrus shine and moderate bitterness up front seem to mask any specific fruit flavor, but the citrus lingers on the back end a little bit—and makes me feel like I should be tasting something specific. The bitterness gets a little more pronounced as it warms up, but so does the fruit flavor. I hope I’m not losing my sense of taste—or smell—or coming down with a cough.

Oh, shit.

275. Stone Brewing (Escondido, CA) - Delicious IPA

“When creating an IPA deserving of the name ‘Delicious,’ intense flavor was paramount, and that’s just what this bright, citrus-forward standout brings to the table. Crafted to reduce gluten, the beer and its magnificent lemon candylike flavor and hop spice can be enjoyed by nearly everyone.”

Before taking the first sip, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that this one will not be “exactly as advertised.” (And it is not.) The spice is way too heavy, and the citrus is more of an echo than a flavor. Not bad, just a little aggressive.