628. Left Hand Brewing Co. (Longmont, CO) - Peanut Butter Milk Stout

“Rhythm and Blues. Batman and Robin. Peanut Butter and Chocolate. These classic duos never go out of style. Enter Peanut Butter Milk Stout. We took the pure milk chocolate bliss of our classic Milk Stout and added peanut buttery goodness. It’s like an adult peanut butter cup you can drink. It’s rich and decadent on the palate and lusciously lingers into a nutty, dry finish. A perfect pair you’ll want to share.”

Um. Since the writing is fucking terrible, I’m going to ignore the description. The first little taste of the beer, though, was pure magic—possibly the most peanut butter flavor I have ever experienced in a beer. Unfortunately, the peanut butter part gets lost in the other milk stout bits upon subsequent sips and as the beer warms. It’s also a touch too sweet for the ABV (6.2%). Not bad, by any means—but no match for Peanut Butter Busted Knuckle, either.

627. Brewery 33 (Logan, OH) - CCC Coconut Cream Ale

“Smooth cream ale with coconut flavors.”

Tried this in the taproom a couple of days ago, and it was the best first sip of a beer I have had in a long time. There was light coconut flavor up front, and then the back end filled in with the almost-vanilla smoothness of a fine cream ale. The second one in the taproom the next day wasn’t as good as the first, but became more interesting as it warmed. The two out of the crowler (one last night at the cabin and one today after we got home and the bottle had bounced around in the car for four hours), also were not as good as the first—but contained echoes of that excellence. This place has come a long way since the first time we visited, four years ago while the world was still shitting the bed. That time, there wasn’t anything for Amy to drink, so I only had one beer and got some cans to go. This time, Amy tried a flight of mead and really enjoyed it. Just be sure to plan your visit for when it’s nice enough to sit outside, because the inside space is small and the bartenders can be surly.

626. Short’s Brewing Company (Elk Rapids, MI) - Pure Michigan® Fall IPA

“When fall arrives the air changes. You can smell it before you see the leaves start to change. And by the time the rolling glacial hills of our backyard finally explode with color so splendiferous you can see it from space, the harvest of the hops and malts we use in our Products of Passion is well underway. It’s tough to pick a favorite season, but fall is pure magic in Pure Michigan®.”

Um. That’s from the can; what they have on the website is only marginally better. Strong flavor of pine, especially as it warms. There’s also something soft and fruity that I can’t quite pin down. I’m going to go with stone fruit and maybe a tiny sliver of lemon zest. Another excellent Short’s joint.

625. Lakefront Brewery (Milwaukee, WI) - Pumpkin Lager

“Real pumpkin and pie spice join Munich and caramel malts in our brewhouse, then lager for four weeks in our cellar, and come together with all the flavors of a lush pumpkin pie.”

And on the can it says, “Lager brewed with real pumpkin, cinnamon, allspice, ginger, nutmeg, cloves and mace.” I think I can taste the mace. (This is a bad joke, which means it has a good chance of being confirmed as the next Secretary of Defense.) The cinnamon leads the way and sort of buries everything else, but the general effect is solid; and all of that baking spice imparts an unusually dry finish for a lager. The 6.1% ABV is just icing on the cake. I haven’t made a list of the best pumpkin beers I’ve tried, but this would have to be top five.

624. Little Kings (Cincinnati, OH) - Cream Ale

I seem to remember being a young child once, and that my uncle from California did not come around much. When he did, and he came to our house (double down on the “did not come around much”), I seem to recall that he sometimes brought six of these to share with my dad. I might be misremembering that; but there are very few people left alive on Earth who could say for sure that I am. Regardless, my dad and my uncle both enjoyed beer; and I am almost positive that this is one they enjoyed together at some time in the past. I’ve always sort of wanted to try one, so here we are; and it tastes just fine, though with all of the memories kicking around in the background of it, I would probably dote on it even if it tasted like cat piss. (It does not.)

623. Dogfish Head (Milton, DE) - Punkin Ale

“A full-bodied brown ale brewed with real pumpkin, brown sugar, allspice, nutmeg & cinnamon. Enjoy smooth pumpkin & fall spices.”

Oddly light for its 7% ABV, but the flavors work well together. This and the previous two came from the same variety pack and were all just a tad too carbonated. It’s possible I have come to like seasonal pumpkin ales too much, and have therefore ratcheted my expectations up to an unrealistic degree. I’m not sure if this beer is disappointing or if it’s just not quite as good as the previous two. (But again, I have two more cans and will almost certainly revisit.)

622. Dogfish Head (Milton, DE) - Raison D’Etre

“First released in 1995 at our brewpub, Raison D’Etre is a deep mahogany, Belgian-style ale brewed with beet sugar, raisins & a sense of purpose. Enjoy the complex fruits & rich maltiness that make this beer so distinct.”

This is a spectacular combination of flavors that almost tastes like the oatmeal with raisins that my mom used to make for breakfast when I was a kid. It opens up beautifully as it warms, and the high ABV (8%) balances the sweetness from the raisins and the beet sugar very well. Not sure it needs the Belgian yeast with everything else that’s going on; but I’ve got two more cans from the variety pack, so maybe we’ll revisit.

621. Dogfish Head (Milton, DE) - Chicory Stout

“First released in 1995 at our brewpub, Chicory Stout is a rich, dark brew smoothed out with a touch of roasted chicory, licorice root, and coffee. Enjoy its bold flavor and notes of roasted coffee.”

I was oddly sort of hoping for a moderate hit of licorice up front, but I’m not getting it with this first one. I don’t get a lot of coffee flavor, either—but the bitterness from the chicory and the coffee give it a nice finish. The 5.2% ABV is a nice change of pace; I don’t necessarily think that a bold, flavorful stout also needs to be big and boozy every time.

620. Rogue Ales (Newport, OR) - Berry Blonde

“Among Oregon’s tangled vines and brambles thrive the sweet marionberries and juicy plums that burst forth in our Berry Blonde Ale. This berry blonde ale presents a refreshing blend of marionberry and plum flavors, balanced by a light biscuity malt backbone and subtle floral hops. With a clean finish, it offers a delightful harmony of fruity sweetness and crisp drinkability.”

It’s both sweet and dry, with a strong fruit flavor that suggests a perfect combination of the tart marionberry and the sweet plum. The blonde ale backbone lets the fruit steal the show while the beer is cold, and then makes its slightly malty voice heard once the beer starts to warm. Very well done.

Deep Thoughts #344

Keith Olbermann used to have a bit called “Worst Person in the World.” But with Adolfs Musk and Trump both alive, how can you pick just one?

Deep Thoughts #343

The sun will supernova before all you Trumpy sister-fuckers cotton to the fact that your rapist savior has been lying to you the whole time.

Deep Thoughts #342

And of course, by severe consequences, Tangerine Rapist means that he will be running for President in Russia after we kick his fat ass out.

Deep Thoughts #341

It is so not surprising that monkeys who would vote for Donald Trump also provide most of whatever it is that Large Language Models “learn.”

619. DuClaw Brewing Co. (Ewing, NJ) - Sweet Baby Pumpkin!

“Nothing says fall is here like pumpkin spice lattes [sic] taking over every coffee shop in America. Now it’s taking over your favorite brewery too! The new addition to the ‘Sweet Baby’ family combines pumpkin spice flavor and notes of coffee in a smooth and creamy porter.”

(I’m not sure if this counts as a New Jersey beer or a Maryland beer, and I’m not going to waste your time with semantic quibbles. DuClaw [Rosedale, MD] was apparently acquired by River Horse [Ewing, NJ], but I’m not finding much in the way of useful information on either of their websites. I’m going with New Jersey, which makes it my first New Jersey beer and gets me to 32 states. If I have misapprehended the beer’s provenance, I will be glad to update the entry.)

Okay, and now that we have that shit out of the way, were we talking about a beer? Yes, we were; and there is some very nice pumpkin aroma on the nose, but everything else they are shooting for gets a little bit lost on the palate. I don’t really get much of any particular flavor, and the whole thing feels a little thin—even after it warms up.

618. Sun King (Indianapolis, IN) - State Fair Cotton Candy

“State Fair Cotton Candy balances the sweet summer flavors of Blue Cotton Candy with a crisp character in celebration of the Indiana State Fair.”

There’s a flavor there that might be cotton candy, but I can’t remember the last time I had cotton candy, so I can’t be sure. If it’s not cotton candy, then it’s something close that pushes the same basic nostalgia button. The flavor was moderately strong up front but didn’t linger much for me on the back end, and the beer was not at all sweet. The sessionable 4% ABV was just right for a sultry day at the state fair, and the lurid teal color made me feel like I was drinking something exotic and rare at Quark’s bar on Deep Space Nine. Not bad, but not nearly as good as the caramel corn ale from 2022.

Deep Thoughts #340

I’m somewhat shocked that Roger Penske said no to Republicans. I hope he sues the racist fucks until they bleed from their assholes and die.

616. Kismetic Beer Company (Indianapolis, IN) - Oatmeal Stout

“Stout, although one of my favorite styles to drink, is rarely on my brewing schedule. That is about to change. Inspired by a conversation with the team [at Fort George Brewing], we decided to do a series of stout and really explore what the style has to offer. This first offering is brewed with 2-row barley, Caramunich, Carafa Special 1 and 3, Midnight wheat, and rye. Hopped with Magnum and Hersbrucker. Mashed hot with an extended 2 hour boil. Aromas of toffee and dark fruits, with notes of coffee and chocolate. Rich and full on the palate, with sweet caramel and cocoa covered raisin notes balanced by a dry and roasty finish.”

I had a hard time making up my mind about this one. It doesn’t have the smooth mouthfeel up front that I have come to associate with oatmeal stouts, and the overall body of the beer is not as rich as same. But it’s growing on me. There are roasty chocolate malt elements and hints of dried fruit; and it does react well to being able to warm up and breathe a little bit. The style is perhaps not Ryan’s strong suit, but he still makes a pretty good one.

Deep Thoughts #339

Of course, all you Republicans are uninformed inbred shit. Go back to the barnyard and die before you pox the educated with your hell spawn.

Deep Thoughts #338

You aren’t a real American…you took steroids and fucked on tape…you are not at all American…you fucking Republican piece of uninformed shit.

Deep Thoughts #337

Hulk Hogan raped his own legacy when he endorsed Adolf Trump. Hogan was not a “Real American.” He was a puppet, like all modern Republicans.

Cinema Observations #7

A woman approached the concession stand and said, “Two for Batman.” The schlep with her said, “Superman.” She looked back and said, “Superman, Batman, they’re all the same.” The comic book geek in me died a little, but I did not decapitate her, even though she richly deserved it.

Deep Thoughts #336

Donald…go fuck yourself. J.D….go fuck yourself. Samuel, Clarence, Amy, Neil, Brett, and John…go fuck each other and then go fuck yourselves.

617. New Belgium Brewing Company (Fort Collins, CO) - Grape Fizz Ale

“Grape Fizz Ale first hits you with a pop of juicy grape candy aroma that will transport you straight to those nostalgic purple sodas from back in the day. Golden limes (aka Calamansi fruit) and golden sour ale provide a light tartness that’s balanced by sweet Concord grape juice for a crisp, crushable, effervescent finish and 5% ABV.”

Also, the can says that it’s colored with fruits and vegetables. This was part of a variety 12-pack that I picked up because I wanted to try something that isn’t an IPA for a change. The first one, out of the can, was too tart; but the second one, poured into a mug, was a little better. It’s still too tart, but maybe it can breathe a little more in a mug. I don’t know. I appreciate what they’re going for, but they don’t quite get there; the expression “sour grapes” is an expression for a reason. I’m not sure there’s a good way to go here. You want something like this to be crushable, but you also need it to lean more toward the sweet than the sour. In order to balance that sweetness, you need to raise the ABV; and if I were going to err in one direction or the other, that would be the way I’d go. A less sour version of this in the 7-8% ABV range would be spectacular.

Deep Thoughts #335

Now, who would guess that a right-wing misogynist with Donald Trump’s dick in his mouth would be a liar? Only any primate with half a brain.

Deep Thoughts #334

If the talking abortion and failed businessman you Retardlicans voted for told a story that wasn’t fictional—that would be some actual news.

Cinema Observations #6

The first group through the gates today was an asshole and the thirteen chimps he was pretending to supervise. He bought each of them a large popcorn and a large ICEE. Did they make an unholy fucking mess? Of course they did. That’s how inbreeds learn to Make America Great Again.

Deep Thoughts #333b

No, this isn’t a problem in the U.S. But Republicans will be all over it. They criminalize anything that isn’t blonde, blue-eyed, and Aryan.

Deep Thoughts #333a

Just have Adolf Trump threaten to deport screwworms—or increase their tariffs. That’s how unqualified Republicans attempt to solve problems.

615. New Holland Brewing Co. (Holland, MI) - The Poet

“Oats bring a creaminess and soft mouthfeel to the roast malt character in our classic oatmeal stout. The Poet is a perfect representation of balance and one of America’s leading oatmeal stouts.”

Yes, and when you have one of those days that makes you feel like you can do anything, you might, the night before on the way home from The Old Juke Joint, have bought a variety 12-pack of the same beers you took to the park for your son’s high school graduation party last month; and The Poet might have been the first one you opened when you went upstairs to work a little bit just now. It’s all a coincidence so far, but then you go back into the Scrivener project that contains a bunch of poems you have been working on; and you look at the most recent one, which also makes reference to the graduation party (and all that fancy sausage you bought at Claus’); and that’s the one you wanted to work on, because when you have good days like this you feel charitable, and expansive. It’s no longer a coincidence, of course, that this post is more of a prose poem than it is a blog post about beer. You don’t know exactly what turns prose into poetry, but sometimes poems speak to you; and sometimes it’s fun to try and write them. Sometimes an oatmeal stout is better than an IPA; this is one of those days.

Deep Thoughts #332

Too bad there isn’t a real Batman with 86 stamped on one of those electrified Batarangs in his utility belt. (Read the article in the link.)

Cinema Observations #5

If you think it’s a good idea to buy yourself and your three little urchins three ICEEs, six boxes of candy, and a large popcorn with butter, then you’re too fucking stupid to have kids. (Too bad a superhero can’t travel back in time and prevent the tragedy of your reproduction.)

Cinema Observations #4

When you force your mainstream, fat-ass, Croc-wearing customters into buying large popcorns and large drinks because you eliminated the medium popcorns and medium drinks, then it can’t possibly be a surprise when your concession per caps shoot up into the $6- and $7-dollar range.

Cinema Observations #3

Some oblivious ass clown almost backed into me this afternoon while he was flailing about trying to read the menu board. You can imagine my fucking complete surprise when I discovered that he was holding one of the mini-one-sheets for Mission: Impossible 8 that we’re giving away.

Cinema Observations #2

The air conditioning isn’t working in cinemas 3 and 6. We’re supposed to tell the mainstream asswipes that it’s because we’re waiting on approval from above for needed repairs. That’s a lie. The truth is that our idiotically mismanaged dying excuse for a company is fucking broke.

Cinema Observations #1

The next Mission: Impossible 8-watching mainstream jackoff who looks at me sweeping up a popcorn spill while they are waddling toward their auditorium and then says, “You’ve done that before,” is getting locked in a hotel room with Donald Trump, Puff Daddy, and a pound of peyote.

Deep Thoughts #331

Is it just the Trumpy inbreeds who have no relationship with grammar, punctuation, and facts? Or is it all brain-dead social media fuckwads?

Deep Thoughts #330

Also, 86 does not just mean “to kill.” Donny Jr. must know that, and yet he can’t resist being a reactionary asshole. Like father, like son.

Deep Thoughts #329

Those right-wing Nazi jackoffs should love James Comey. His botched handling of the Hillary Clinton email fiasco helped Trump “win” in 2016.

Deep Thoughts #328

NPR needs federal funding because it does not advertise. Sheep like Jim Banks know that; the uneducated shit stains who support them do not.

Deep Thoughts #327

Anyone who needs to be told that Samuel Alito is a jackoff piece of shit has probably already demonstrated that they are a mental defective.

614. Tailgate Brewery (Nashville, TN) - Dough: Oatmeal Creme Pie

“Brewed with handmade oat clusters, this full bodied ale is packed with flavors of toasted oats, caramel, molasses, vanilla, and a hint of baking spice.”

Picked this up while we were in Nashville last month, and the first one tasted freakishly like a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie; but I drank that first one in Nashville and the other three at home, and none of the latter tasted quite as good as the first. With that one, I got the exact taste of the “creme” in the middle of one of the Little Debbie treats, right up front, and then the baking spice and oatmeal on the back end. With the subsequent three, the flavors seemed more homogenized—not bad at all, but not the same nostalgic gut punch as the first one. Maybe it has something to do with the Nashville air.

Deep Thoughts #326b

And then the idiot gerbils can’t manage to tag the correct place when they jump on social media to complain to their fellow mental furballs.

Deep Thoughts #326a

By standing up to a couple of lying MAGA jackoffs, the Chatterbox staff demonstrated the kind of integrity that traitorous Republicans lack.

Deep Thoughts #325

Spot the example of yet another Trumpy jackoff and its xenophobia in this article. The author correctly makes it sound like the idiot it is.

Deep Thoughts #324

It just occurred to me that someone needs to figure the over/under for when ICE officially turns into the American version of the Nazi’s SS.

Deep Thoughts #323

Here is yet another sign that these talking MAGA abortions are uninformed, uneducated jackoffs. I am, once again, totally fucking surprised.

613. Kismetic Beer Company (Indianapolis, IN) - Watermelon Mint Gose

“Our take on a gose-style kettle sour, with additions of pink sea salt, and both cold and hot steepings of Nelson’s Tea Watermelon Mint rooibos blend. Notes of mint and tropical fruit on the nose, sour and herbal, salty and refreshing.”

Moderate flavor of herbal mint up front, with just a hint of watermelon, and a light sour taste. As the beer warms, the watermelon flavor becomes a little more pronounced and the mint gets a bit lighter. Sours are definitely one of Ryan’s strong suits, and this one might well be the best of the lot.

Deep Thoughts #322e

Of course, if it turns out that all Republicans are Nazis, I won’t be surprised; those fucks have been Nazis since Barack Obama was elected.

Deep Thoughts #322d

I don’t think all Republicans are Nazis. I imagine most of them were raised badly by bad parents who were too fucking stupid to know better.

Deep Thoughts #322c

President Musk is playing Donald Trump like a two-dollar banjo, and the stupid tangerine monkey can’t understand what the fuck is happening.

Deep Thoughts #322b

(For the simpletons out there—meaning most of the Republicans of course—that does mean that I think Musk is a Nazi and Trump is its puppet.)

Deep Thoughts #322a

Have the oddsmakers out there set the over/under on when President Musk is going to order his Orange Lackey to send troops to invade Poland?

Short's Brewing Company - Holiday Battle Plan

Amy and I went to Bloomington for a three-day weekend recently, and on our way back to the hotel after we went shopping on the west side, we stopped at the big Big Red (if you went to IU, you know what I mean) for drinks for the room, and I came across a 12-pack from Short’s with this Home Alone theme. The four beers inside are named after scenes or lines from the film, and they are all in the good-but-not-great range; but getting the descriptions from the website was a lot of fun, and I genuinely can’t remember if I have ever enjoyed the non-beer aspects of a 12-pack of beer quite this much. I love the film, and I’m sure that’s part of it; but whoever came up with this idea was all in, and I think that’s pretty fucking cool.

608. Short’s Brewing Company (Elk Rapids, MI) - Oh Kay
“Just your average, hazy, piney, ctirusy, fruity, IPA here. Nothing to see. Just driving around in our blue, beat up, panel van, ready to tackle your plumbing and heating needs. Definitely not cat burglars about to rob your house or anything. Don’t worry, you’re in good hands.”

This is just a few ABV points shy of being spectacular. There’s a respectable balance between West Coast pine and citrus and East Coast stone fruit, but it leans just a bit toward the smoother, sweeter East Coast style and feels like it should clock in somewhere between 6% and 7% rather than the 5.8% where it actually lands.

609. Short’s Brewing Company (Elk Rapids, MI) - Thirsty for More
“You’ve finally got yourself into the house. You’ve kicked your shoes off (or lost them thanks to some tar on the basement steps), set your hat down (or had it burned off by a blow torch), and you’re ready for a tall, cold glass of dry hopped lager, a noseful of citrus and melon with a slightly bready malt aftertaste. Its [sic] almost like someone thwacked you in the head with a paint can of delight. Definitely not giving up. Definitely Thirsty for More.”

Also well balanced, though I was unfamiliar with the New Zealand style of lager until I looked it up. Turns out it’s basically the same as India Pale Lager, like Black Acre’s Natural Liberty; and that means—lagers with flavor. In this case, that would be light fruit flavors and a surprisingly dry finish. At only 5.1%, it’s practically sessionable. Not as nearly great as Oh Kay, but pretty good.

611. Short’s Brewing Company (Elk Rapids, MI) - Junk and Rubbish
“You’ve made your family disappear, time to pop in Angels with Filthy Souls, throw on a napkin bib, and pour yourself a ginormous mug of Junk and Rubbish, our cool, cool cocoa and marshmallow stout. Cocoa, vanilla and marshmallow are paired with sweet, toasted maltiness for a rich, creamy, full mouthfeel—reminiscent of hot cocoas and overflowing sundaes. Topping it with excessive amounts of marshmallows, candy, chocolate syrup is also, um, a choice you could make? (Crunch Gators are the preferred side, BTW.)”

Robust chocolate flavor up front, which works well with the 7.5% ABV. (The can refers to it as a double chocolate stout.) I don’t taste marshmallow or vanilla, but I suspect they are there, because there is a smoothness to the chocolate flavor that almost has to come from the addition of something sweeter. It’s oddly playful, and I think the best of the four beers in this package.

612. Short’s Brewing Company (Elk Rapids, MI) - Silver Tuna
“Of all the beers in the pack, this one is is [sic] THE ONE, Marv. It’s very ‘G.’ It’s got lots of top flight goods. Orange, tart cranberry, subtle hints of mulling spices. A little sour? You bet. Who knows. Its [sic] a gem. Hand me a crowbar. Crowbars up!”

Moderately sour up front, with the orange and cranberry flavors coming together in the middle and then fading into a lingering hint of spice on the back end. Very well done.

610. Moontown Brewing Company (Whitestown, IN) - Tippecanoe River

“Time to celebrate our beautiful state during the changing seasons with our next exploration in our Pints for Parks series! Our 12th journey in our series takes us just a bit north to Winamac to Tippecanoe River State Park. It’s always a great time to get outside, but especially this time of year with the changing of the leaves and when you can have a delicious West Coast IPA as your trail partner. Built with our steadfast Sugar Creek Malt Co pilsner malt, creating a lovely clean malt profile, balanced out on the hot side by Simcoe, and loaded with Citra, Strata, and Nectaron hops throughout whirlpool and the two rounds of dry hopping. The trip down this river is incredibly fragrant boasting intense tropical fruits and citrus blended with some dank. This ride is smooth and clean with a nice bitterness, finishing crisp. Get your paddle and let’s go have some fun. Thank you for continuing to support our state parks, cheers to the great outdoors!”

Sharp and bitter up front, with pine and stone fruit and a nice clean finish when it’s good and cold. Definitely a West Coast IPA, but with just a hint of East Coast in there, too. I’m sort of up and down on their other beers, but their Pints for Parks beers (much like the Craft Brew Doodle Crew IPAs from the late, lamented Indiana City) are spectacular.

607. Kismetic Beer Company (Indianapolis, IN) - Orange Plum Sour with Lavender

“A new take on our sour. Brewed with Montana pilsner, white wheat and flaked wheat. Steeped with a blend of lavender and orange peel, fruited with plum. Lightly herbal on the nose, with notes of citrus and stone fruit. Bright sourness balanced on the palate with rich plum and sweet clementines.”

I’m getting a strong floral aroma on the nose, with light orange and stone fruit flavor up front. The stone fruit lingers on the back end quite pleasantly, and there is just the barest hint of sour. Ryan has a real knack for brewing sours that are sour without also being a kick in the nuts. He is easily the most gifted brewer I have encountered since I discovered Dan Gayle’s beers at Black Circle. Nothing Ryan brews is disappointing, even styles I don’t usually dig very much. I really can’t say enough about this place, nor about Nicole and Ryan. (Go on a weekend sometime, when one of them is pulling handles behind the bar. Listen to them talk. That’s what the proprietor of your local watering hole is supposed to sound like.)

Deep Thoughts #321

You fucked this country and you should be convicted of treason, hanged from a tree, and your children should have to watch you die, inbreed.

Deep Thoughts #320

Republicans should be gang-raped in the asshole in front of their children by huge rabid dogs and then be burned at the stake fucking twice.

Deep Thoughts #319

You are learning impaired and your parents should have aborted you. Go back to school, and then die. Never reproduce. Inbred fucking monkey.

Deep Thoughts #318

Every monkey who voted for lying rapist Donald Trump is a living abortion who should die in a fire in front of their inbred donkey children.

606. Cervecería Centro Americano, S.A. (Guatemala City, Guatemala) - Gallo

“A beer of incomparable quality and flavor, the pride of Guatemalans. Its flavor is accentuated and defined by a special bitterness from the hops, with an alcohol content of 5%. It has a dark golden hue and its foam is clear and stable.”

I first tried this beer 10 years ago, when we went to Guatemala on a mission trip. We had the first evening to ourselves, so two of us, another dude named John, and I, got a tuktuk into town—everybody else was too tired to hit the bricks. We had no real idea what we were doing or where we were going—which is probably why we ended up asking for directions in a brothel—but eventually we made it to Calle Santander and found a place where we could get a beer (and listen to a gringo called Matteo, who played chords on a guitar badly, apparently in exchange for some hot soup). The beer was Gallo, which appears to have been rechristened Famosa at some point on its voyage to the States; but it will always be Gallo to me. It can now be had here, but at $20 for a 12-pack, it’s too pricey—except to have an experimental go at it or to relive memories of looking at three volcanoes across one of the most beautiful lakes in the world, which I have had the good fortune to do—twice.

It’s billed as a lager, and that’s what it tastes like; but it’s deeper and richer than most American lagers, though “dark golden hue” is stretching it. I don’t recall what the ones called Gallo tasted like when I was in Guatemala, but the ones I’m tasting out of cans here at home make me wonder if something has changed in the translation. It ain’t worth $20, but it’s hella better than most of the macrobrewed shit they orchestrate out of the low countries.

605. Kismetic Beer Company (Indianapolis, IN) - Banana Nut Bread Hefeweizen

“A hefeweizen style wheat beer, hot and cold steeped with Nelson’s Tea Banana Nut Bread rooibos tea blead [sic], rich and bready, with notes of ripe bananas and walnuts.”

Very bready up front, with a hint of chalky walnut and a smooth, soft finish. A little bit of banana flavor lingers, and this batch has less baking spice flavor than the previous batches. Still very good, but if I didn’t know this was the banana nut bread version, I might not have guessed.

604. Kismetic Beer Company (Indianapolis, IN) - Amaro Saison

“Our version of an Aperol Spritz. Brewed with 6 row barley, pale ale, Caramunich, white wheat, and rye. Hopped with Magnum and Lotus. Cold and hot steeped with gentian, chinchona, grapefruit peel, lemon peel, orange peel, rose hips, orris, grains of paradise, chamomile, fennel, star anise, black pepper and a few other spices. Aromas of black licorice and spicy phenolic, balanced with flavors of bubblegum, pepper, and Good and Plenty’s [sic]. For the fans of amaro, herbal liqueurs, or even an Underberg.”

Minty aroma and a minty, spicy taste up front that drifts into a pleasantly bitter finish that smooths out as the beer warms. Possibly some grapefruit pith in there contributing to the bitter finish, and then bright orange flavor as the bitterness smooths. Even more complex and spectacular than the Marzen. (And much like with the Cold IPA, I may have to update this post after I have tried a second one.

603. Kismetic Beer Company (Indianapolis, IN) - Cold IPA

“Our take on a new style out of Oregon. Described by the originator as more West Coast than West Coast, this IPA is brewed with America pilsner, Vienna, and flaked rice. Hopped with Azacca, Apollo, and Amarillo. It is fermented with lager yeast at ale temps. It is dry hopped at the tail end of fermentation to achieve some fruit forward bio tranformation [sic]. Crisp and dry, with aromas of pine and citrus, bitter and crisp on the palate.”

Piney aroma and taste up front. Dry finish. Any fruit in there does not assert itself in the first couple of sips, but turns into a slight citrus shine as the beer warms. There’s a fresh, herbal taste that eventually comes up and makes me think of fresh fruit that isn’t quite ripe yet. Also excellent, but I’m too inured to IPAs. I will try this one again and may update the post.

602. Kismetic Beer Company (Indianapolis, IN) - Marzen

“Brewed with Munich, Vienna, Caramunich, rye and chit. Hopped with Magnum and Sazz. We went as traditional as we could and brewed in March and then lagered for 6 months. Bready and rich, with notes of toffee and brioche on the nose. Sweet malty complexity is balanced by a firm, bitter backbone.”

It’s got a light roasty taste up front, with a dry finish that smooths out and begins to feel more like the light spice of rye about halfway through. A little bit of caramel floats around almost playfully, but never quite asserts itself. There might be a hint of dried fruit in there, too—especially on the nose. Full and complex, but not heavy. Spectacular.

Deep Thoughts #317

Have you seen the new exhibit at the Indianapolis Zoo? Donald Trump supporters have a space to run free and throw their feces on each other!

Deep Thoughts #316

Apparently we need to explain to lying rapist Donald Trump that choosing not to run for re-election is different than resigning from office.

601. Moontown Brewing Company (Whitestown, IN) - Starve Hollow

“We raise our glasses again for our next foray in our Pints for Parks series! Our 11th journey in our series takes us just south of Brownstown to Starve Hollow State Recreational Area. Given that it’s summer and this beer is for honoring a wonderful recreational area we made a delightful and very refreshing IPL. Built like a pilsner, to be so clean and crisp, and hopped heavily like an IPA with Nectaron, Mosaic, and Citra, this beer is extremely smooth, floral and fruity, finishing light and dry, it’s perfect for any adventure. Thank you for continuing to support our state parks, cheers to the great outdoors!”

We got back today from a three-day weekend at Turkey Run, and on the way out on Sunday, we stopped at Moontown for lunch. The food was only so-so, as it has been the last couple of times, but the beer is still very much on point. I was pretty stoked to see that they had finally replaced the Lincoln ESB with a new entry in the Pints for Parks series—and especially so when I noted that this new entry is hopped with Nectaron. That particular hop always makes me think of nectarine, which is one of my favorite fruits; and this beer has got all kinds of things going on. I initially thought I would compare it to Natural Liberty, from Black Acre; but after I checked my notes, I saw that Natural Liberty is an American Pale Lager, while Starve Hollow is an India Pale Lager. Is there a huge difference? As my grandmother might have said, "I haven’t the foggiest." (I also think that the line separating India Pale Ales from American Pale Ales has more to do with semantics than with flavor or brewing technique; but please be reminded that I am not within shouting distance of being an expert about anything.)

What I can say for sure is that this beer is more interesting than Natural Liberty. It’s got some bitter, piney things going on, and it also has some vaguely sweet stone fruit things going on. (And if you’ve been stopping by here with any degree of frequency over the last several years, you will not be remotely surprised when I say that the first of those two characteristics decreases in direct proportion to the amount of time the beer has spent out of the refrigerator—and that the second increases.)

Best of the Pints for Parks series? It’s only my 4th, of the 11 they have so far produced; and those have all been excellent. But yes…this might be the best one I have so far tried.

600. West Side Brewing (Cincinnati, OH) - Amarillo Pale Ale

“This pale ale uses a single hop varietal: Amarillo. An American hop, Amarillo lends big aromas of orange citrus to the beer, with backing notes of grapefruit and lightly floral tones.”

Not quite as strong as they seem to want it to be…but I get a sense that all of those things might be there. Not bad, but not especially interesting.

599. El Segundo Brewing Company (El Segundo, CA) - Steve Austin’s Broken Skull 3:16 IPA

“Last fall, the good folks at Perrault Farms in Yakima Valley invited ESBC and Steve Austin up to sample their hops during their annual hop harvest. Steve was so blown away by them and their hops that it inspired him to make a new IPA. The hops in this beer were selected by Steve Austin himself. We hope you enjoy this beer as much as we do. Cheers!”

Okay, then. It’s a light, crisp IPA that sort of doesn’t taste like it clocks in at 7.2% ABV. Maybe some melon up front, and a dry finish that slides toward slightly bitter as it warms. Not bad, but it doesn’t make my socks roll up and down.

598. Bloomington Brewing Co. (Bloomington, IN) - Simcoe Kid

“Return of the Simcoe Kid! Another brew from the BBC archives, Simcoe Kid is a single hop IPA showcasing…you guessed it, Simcoe! Smooth bitterness complimented [sic] by citrus and tropical fruit flavors. Pink grapefruit dominates the aroma, with subtle hints of mango, guava, and passion fruit, courtesty of Helio Gazer yeast.”

Very nice balance of citrus and tropical fruit, though I don’t get much of anything specific. Smooth and easy to drink, with just the barest hint of a dry finish. Very well done, but doesn’t seem to be in my wheelhouse.

Taproom: MashCraft Brewing (Indianapolis, IN)

Jackson had an all-day robotics competition at Greenwood Middle School yesterday, and Amy and I had a big chunk of time to kill between Jackson’s last match of the day and the time we were supposed to pick him up at school, so we decided to check out the MashCraft taproom in Greenwood. I’ve been wanting to try their beer for a while, but their three taprooms are just far enough out of the way of our usual haunts that we hadn’t gotten around to it. It was unclear when we arrived whether we were supposed to order from the counter or wait to be seated, and we ended up placing an initial order at the counter; but after that, it was still sort of unclear. A second person came around to the table a couple of times, but I went back up to the counter for a second round of drinks.

Amy ordered the Garden Pesto pizza, and I had an unsalted pretzel with mustard and the chips and dips. Her pizza was unevenly cooked, with the crust around the edge being way too hard and the crust in the middle being barely cooked—the classic sign of a packaged crust; but the pesto flavor was respectable. The pretzel was okay, but not especially interesting, served with what was clearly horseradish mustard out of a jar; and the chips were served with jarred salsa and something called “frontera ranch,” which is apparently their way of saying “ranch with hot sauce.”

595. MashCraft Brewing (Indianapolis, IN) - Galactus
“Named after the planet eating entity because of its big bold tropical flavors and slightly elevated ABV.”
Prominent orange juice flavor up front, with a sweet, creamy mouthfeel that makes me think lactose. In the middle, it’s a pretty standard New England/milkshake IPA (though I don’t get any strong tropical flavors), and the finish is sharp—not dry or bitter, but sharp, with a strong taste of alcohol. It’s a little off-putting at first, but smooths out as it warms.

596. MashCraft Brewing (Indianapolis, IN) - Jamaica Joe
“Our MashCraft Red infused with creamy and caramely Jamaican Me Crazy coffee beans from local favorite Strange Brew.”
Very light coffee aroma, with mild coffee flavor and a smooth caramel/red ale finish. Exactly as advertised, and well done; but it’s got nothing on Ryan’s coffee lager at Kismetic, which has strong coffee aroma and flavor, and a buttery shortbread finish.

597. MashCraft Brewing (Indianapolis, IN) - Let it Burn
“Take a smooth cream ale and hit it with some lemondrop peppers. What do you get? Ask Usher…”
Powerful pepper flavor and strong heat on the first sip, with a pretty fast burn; but as it warms up, the smooth cream ale malt flavors make that more of a slow burn. The slight hint of lemon from the pepper is a nice touch.

594. Scarlet Lane Brewing Company (McCordsville, IN) - Irving Dark

No description apart from “shadow ale,” which is probably better marketing for the outfit that bills itself as “The Official Beer of Horror” than “boring porter,” which is what it actually is. I’ve tried it in the taproom before, but I saw it in cans at the Beech Grove taproom last night, so I brought some home. It was no more interesting in a different setting. I didn’t plan it this way, but I happened to pour the first one at home on the one-year anniversary of the closure of Black Acre Brewing Company. Scarlet Lane took over the space and claimed that they would continue to brew Saucy Intruder and Natural Liberty out of respect for Black Acre; but to my knowledge, they have not tapped a single keg of either beer since they opened the Irvington taproom. I don’t know if that has anything to do with the issues that forced the closures of the 46th & College and Bellefontaine locations, with the fact that one of the founders/brewers of Black Acre is now brewing for Black Circle, or with some other reason altogether; whatever the reason, it’s disappointing.

593. Cigar City Brewing (Tampa, FL) - Peach White Oak Jai Alai

“The beloved and eccentric qualities of our White Oak Jai Alai IPA collide with sweet and juicy natural peach flavor for an innovative take on this CCB classic. White Oak spirals are used to impart sleek notes of vanilla and coconut to Jai Alai IPA’s bold citrus and caramel notes.”

The peach is strong up front, but what comes up behind it is less clear—but pretty tasty. All of the sweet flavors mentioned in the description could be there, and they lead that peach opener into a nice, dry finish. Lingers a bit too sweet, but otherwise quite fine.

592. Moontown Brewing Company (Whitestown, IN) - Lincoln

“It’s time for another venture into our Pints for Parks series! We are headed east of Evansville to Lincoln City for our 10th park, Lincoln. We brewed an extra special bitter, better known as an ESB. Typically, when brewing classic beer styles, we use all the highest quality origin sourced ingredients (i.e. German grown malt for German beer), but with this being a state park beer we always keep it local with our Sugar Creek Malt Company crew out of Lebanon, IN. Utilizing Sugar Creek’s Ye Olde and a couple of their crystal malts, along with UK grown East Kent Golding hops, and the classic ESB yeast strain from one of England’s largest breweries we share with you our take on the English classic. Like with many beers, balance and interplay are key and we think you’ll love our malt and hop expressions in this one. Great malty character present, with a pronounced hop flavor and aroma that lingers a bit in the finish as your mouth keeps asking for more. Biscuity and bready, earthy and herbal, slightly sweet with a nice resiny bitterness. Lightly carbonated, complex, and refreshing, no wonder why there’s so much love for a pub ale. Cheers to our state parks, thank for your support!”

And here is another style with which I have very little experience. The finish is right on the line between dry and bitter, and the rest of it is a little faint, but well made. I don’t always like every new beer I try, but I sometimes get the feeling that even the ones I don’t necessarily like (and I haven’t made up my mind on this one yet) are well made. This beer falls into that category—though I have no doubt that my lack of experience with the style is to some extent precluding me from forming an opinion.

591. Guggmann Haus Brewing Co. (Indianapolis, IN) - Biergarten Days

“Traditionally brewed in Bavaraia, the Munich Dunkel offers a complex malt flavor with low bitterness. We’ve used a blend of of German Munich malts giving this beer a rich bready, nutty and roasty character with notes of light floral from German Magnum and Hallertau Mittelfruh hops. With a crisp and balanced smoothness, this beer is a nod to the fall biergarten days of Munich.”

This one is pretty much exactly as advertised, and I suspect that the fact that I can’t come up with anything of my own to say about it means that I am not impressed—and yet I like the beer. What the hell is that? I get the bready, nutty, and roasty, but then I get a hint of vanilla, rather than floral notes. I don’t know much about this style, but I dig this one.

Deep Thoughts #315

It just occurred to me that I have not prepared a résumé since Dubya was president. I barely remember how to do this, and I want to do well.

590. Guggmann Haus Brewing Co. (Indianapolis, IN) - Great Day

“Our go-to Haus IPA, this citrus-forward IPA features a bready malt profile with bright, fruity aromas & flavors from Citra and Galaxy hops.”

Finally succeeded in carving out a time to get out to the Guggmann Haus taproom last Sunday, and brought home a couple of four-packs from the extensive selection in their cooler. I was impressed with the Great Day I had in the taproom, but I think the one I’m having today at home in my frosty mug might be even better. There are layered flavors of strone fruit up front and citrus on the back end, with a vague hint of pine sort of overseeing the whole thing. The pine retreats as the beer warms, but the dry finish from the malty backbone remains. Very fine.

589. Mad Anthony Brewing Company (Fort Wayne, IN) - Mosaic Moon

“An American style IPA brewed with a single variety of hop and a simple American grown grain bill allowing the hop to be “front and center”. The real star of this ale is the Mosaic hop which gives off a complex array of tropical fruit, pineapple, herbal and earthy characteristics. Much of the hop was used late in the boil preserving all the character of the hop without going over the top on bitterness.”

Ripe, smooth pineapple up front, which lingers and quite nicely complements a dry finish that dances right there at the edge of bitter without quite going over the line; and I would never have guessed that it clocks in at 8% ABV. It gets smoother as it warms up, and I may be crazy, but…there might just be a faint hint of coconut in there. Absolutely spectacular, but way too big to have more than one or two at a time.

588. Scarlet Lane Brewing Company (McCordsville, IN) - Dorian Pumpkin

“Oatmeal Stout with Pumpkin. Warning: Pumpkins were harmed in the making of this beer.”

I know, I know…you’re thinking…well, shit dude, you have a Scarlet Lane right there in your fucking neighborhood now, and you haven’t posted a Scarlet Lane beer since before they opened where Black Acre used to be? (And it actually turns out that I have not, in fact, posted a Scarlet Lane joint since they opened in Irvington; I was guessing when I wrote that just now.) I’m torn on the new place…we like going there for lunch on Sunday after they get back from church, but I don’t like writing there as much as I liked writing there when it was Black Acre. (Also, they have yet to tap a single fucking keg of either Natural Liberty or Saucy Intruder.) Anyway…Jackson was up for it today, and when I saw that they had this one in cans, I added a four-pack to the tab and took some home. And…you know what… it’s a yummy oatmeal stout. I’m more into IPAs than anything else, but stouts have grown on me—especially oatmeal stouts. I don’t know if oats in the grain bill give the beer a smoother, creamier mouthfeel and flavor than standard barley, but that’s the way it tastes to me. This one, however, is just an oatmeal stout. There might be a faint whiff of the baking spices you might associate with a pumpkin ale; and I’m going to give it the benefit of the doubt and try a second one in a room-temperature mug before I hit send here, but I ain’t holding my breath, yo. (Maybe the Red Apple I’m going to burn on the porch between the two will change things, but I doubt it.) Alas, the second one is no more interesting than the first.

587. Tangled Roots Brewing Company (Ottawa, IL) - Bison Weizen

“A dark wheat beer with banana and clove flavors similar to the Vermillion River Weiss with some caramel flavors from the darker malts. $1 from every Bison Weizen sold in the brewery goes to the IDNR to help take care of the buffalo at Buffalo Rock State Park.”

And we saw those buffalo when we stopped at Buffalo Rock State Park on our trip to Illinois a couple of weeks ago. (Well, we saw one of them, anyway.) Which is neither here nor there, but being in that part of Illinois is how I managed to get hold of both this and the Kit Kupfer Amber. I don’t have much experience with Dunkelweizens, but this one seems…fine? Tastes more like a Hefeweizen than anything else, even if it is a little bit darker. The banana comes up a bit on the back end, and it’s fine; not great, but fine.

585. Kismetic Beer Company (Indianapolis, IN) - Pumpkin Ale

“We started with sugar pie pumpkins that we roasted with a brown sugar simple syrup and a pumpkin spice blend. We added the roast pumpkin to a mash bill of Maris Otter, Munich, Caramunich, and Chocolate malts. Hopped with Magnum. Steeped with Tahitian, Madagascar, and Mexican vanilla beans, Ceylon cinnamon, and Penzey’s pumpkin pie spice blend. Rich, but balanced, aromas of spices and caramel, creamy with lingering, crisp finish.”

Nice balance of pumpkin and spice flavors up front, with some lingering vanilla and caramel on the back end. Like most of Ryan’s beer, this one is flavorful and complex at the same that it’s light and drinkable.

586. Tangled Roots Brewing Company (Ottawa, IL) - Kit Kupfer

“A crisp, balanced sessionable Amber Ale drawing out a distinct caramel and nutty character from the malt selection with a hint of stone fruits (peaches) on the finish.”

There’s definitely caramel in there, and it lingers both up front and on the back end. I think a hint of peach at the end would be interesting, but I’m not getting it. I’m usually not into Ambers, but this one was interesting.

584. Brew Link Brewing Company (Plainfield, IN) - Basically Bitchin’

“The Starbucks of fall beers. But without the long lines and confusing size names. Get your pumpkin spice fix in a pint glass.”

There’s a vague hint of spice and a vague hint of pumpkin up front, but neither is very deep. The finish is nice and dry, but between the two, there’s something shiny and vaguely off-putting that detracts from both. All the other Brew Link joints I’ve tried have been pretty solid; this one is disappointing.

Deep Thoughts #314

If you think President Biden can’t cut it, that’s fine; but who’s the Democrat who can? Can you answer that? Have you even thought about it?

583. Triton Brewing Co. (Indianapolis, IN) - Railsplitter

“Our flagship beer, and a true example of the style, the Railsplitter India Pale Ale (IPA) is a fresh golden brew with noticeable citrus and floral aromas balanced on a nice malty backbone with a dry finish.”

That malty backbone is pretty strong, imparting a bitter finish that somewhat mutes the flavors coming from the busy hop profile. It mellows and smooths as it warms up, remaining bitter, but loosing some flavor, especially from the Carahell malt. I was not initially impressed with this beer, but it’s definitely better when you let it breathe for a minute. I sort of get the idea that there might be some rye in there, but I don’t know enough about malts to know if any of the ones they mention on the website might be rye. Definitely merits revisitng at some point in the future.

Deep Thoughts #313

If you didn’t already know that Jann Wenner was a fucking tool, then I can’t fucking help you. (Yes I can; don’t ever vote for Republicans.)

582. Indiana City Brewing Co. (Indianapolis, IN) - Amarillo, Yo!

“Juicy, hazy pale ale series brewed with lactose and featuring massive whirlpool & dry hop additions of super aromatic hops.”

If I said at some point before that one of these beers was the swan song for the dear, departed Indiana City Brewing Co., then I was perhaps speaking in haste. I’ve been hanging on to one of these bad boys, along with three cans of Black Acre stuff, since both of those breweries folded earlier this year. The 1-2 punch was somewhat traumatic; they were two of my favorite breweries in Indianapolis. But due to circumstances that shall perhaps be discussed later, I have decided to stop cellaring these last four cans of joy. And it turns out that I have never commented on this particular Indiana City brew, so…here we go. It’s both light (clocking in at only 5.5% ABV) and flavorful, and the lactose doesn’t cut much off of the citrus shine and mildly bitter finish. You won’t be surprised to hear that I love it, and that I wish I had more of them. I also wish that these cats could have hung on, and that maybe they will resurface someday, in premises with a manageable rent.

573. Henderson Brewing Co. (Toronto, Ontario, Canada) - Moving Pitchers

“Henderson Brewing and Rush take the stage together with this electric brew, named after Rush’s 8th studio album. A strong ale with a medley of aromas of berries, grapes, and spice, along with maple syrup and a mild floral note. The palate shows dark fruit, pudding, and toffee, capped by a long finish. Savour solo.”

I get grapes in various stages, from fresh to dried, and possibly some spice—but it’s just as likely that the spice is masked by the 11.9% ABV. It’s big and strong, and that ain’t necessarily bad; but it ain’t necessarily good, either. I really wanted to like these beers, but I didn’t. (And I sure as hell wish I hadn’t spent almost $150 getting them the hell across the border.)

581. Deschutes Brewery (Bend, OR) - Tropical Fresh

“Sit back and relax as you let the waves of pineapple, citrus and mango wash over you. Close your eyes and you can hear the breeze rustling through the palm trees. An antidote to a hazy glow, we sought a bright and beautiful color as canvas to flaunt big tropical hops.”

There’s just a hint of orange rind on the back end that gives it a dry finish that can’t quite be called bitter. The tropical flavors up front are somewhat muddled, and it does not drink remotely like it clocks in at 6.5% ABV. Not my favorite thing from Deschutes, but one of the more interesting.