Monday, August 13, 2007

They Don't Close The State Of Florida

Those wacky Germans teenagers. According to this MSNBC article, a wacky - by which I mean drunk - German teenager crashed a van into a shed that was filled with chickens. The shed, apparently, had about a thousand chickens in it. Well, this morning it had about a thousand. Now it's more like seven hundred. Seems that in their panic to escape, some of the chickens ran into the walls of the shed and died. Others, it is reported, had heart attacks. Who make that diagnosis? Who is it that meanders through life and then one day decides upon a career in poultry forensics? Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course - but at what point do you decide that your dreams are never going to come true, and then go for the gusto of CSI: The Chicken Coop?

In an unrelated incident, a Florida man was sentenced to five years in prison for driving and drug charges, as reported here by MSNBC. The odd part? The man is an amputee. Odder than that? He is a multiple amputee - both arms and one leg. Apparently he did have a valid driver's license at one point, but has done jail time for driving without a valid driver's license and for kicking a state trooper.

Um...kicking a state trooper? No arms, one leg...and he was kicking a state trooper? (No, the article does not mention the point in time when he was arrested for kicking the trooper, though it does mention that he lost his limbs at the age of thirteen - presumably before he would have had the occasion to kick the trooper.) Assuming the trooper wasn't party to his own battery, what exactly would this guy have been using to kick the trooper?

This is a goofy, goofy world we live in, people. Goofy.

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