Um. Do I have to stand up and take off my hat before I drink the fucking thing? We were late to the Indians game the other night because I had to work, so I missed all that national anthem shit—but then they played a canned version of it before the Victory Field “fireworks,” so I had to stand up anyway. Then some yo-yo sang “God Bless America,” but I’ll be fucked if I’m standing up for that one. I still enjoy Fat Head’s beers, but now I sort of can’t help but wonder if I’m providing material support to Republicans when I buy their stuff. I hate the thought of that, but I live in Indiana, so what are you going to do? This is the least impressive beer I have tried from Fat Head’s (though that has nothing to do with the quasi-patriotic horseshit they’re pimping on the website description). (And you know what? I never even looked at the can for a description until just now; and would you believe that the first sentence is almost identical: “Loaded up like a lightning bolt of lupulin this celebratory IPA is loaded with notes of citrus, mango, and pine.”, but that the second sentence is much less Bible Belt when it says, “We’re convinced there’s a statesman in our history that wants us to be hoppy!” No grammar awards for these people, but they might not be the brain-dead Republican shit stains it was starting to sound like they might be.) The beer isn’t bad, but it isn’t great; and if they are Republicans, then I’m fucking done. (I get that there’s no real way to know if someone is a Republican, but wouldn’t it be great if they glowed, or something? So you could cross the street before they got close enough to touch you?) No more to say. I’m pretty fucking disappointed today.
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