467. Sun King (Indianapolis, IN) - Caramel Corn

“Ale made with Caramel corn.”

The above is the official copy on the Sun King website, but the copy on the State Fair website is much more informative: “You know the say [sic], there’s more than corn in Indiana? Well, sometimes it is all about the corn in Indiana! Sun King + Indiana State Fair Beer have partnered again for a new 2022 Indiana State Fair beer. This year’s beer is Caramel Corn. There are 100 lbs of Just Pop In Caramel Popcorn in the batch! Fun fact - kernels hail from a local popcorn farmer. You will be able to get your hands on Caramel Corn beer during the 2022 Indiana State Fair and a limited amount will be available on draft at Sun King tap room locations and at Just Pop In!”

The beer is better than the writing, though that is obviously not a high bar to clear. I have not tried the caramel corn at Just Pop In!, but this beer might be what finally gets me through the doors. It tastes the way caramel popcorn smells, with just a hint of sweetness. The taste reminded me of the smell of the Karmelcorn store in the Washington Square Mall whenever I would have occasion to walk by it. I don’t think I ever bought caramel corn there, but I must have walked past it at least a hundred times in my life. The nostalgia dump in my brain from the first sip of this beer was intense, and that by itself would be enough to recommend it; but it’s also a nicely balanced ale. I would love to have more of them; but as is so often the case with Sun King’s most interesting beers, they are not available in packaged form.

466. Metazoa Brewing Co. (Indianapolis, IN) - Jumpin’ Joey

“Floral and resinous pine aromas combine with a touch of bready malt flavor resutling in a hop-forward beer with a crisp, dry finish.”

This beer has all kinds of interesting things going on: melon-y sweetness when it’s cold, pine and citrus as it warms up, and a finish that starts out dry and then becomes just slightly bitter. It’s only 5.25% ABV, and they don’t call it a session—but for Metazoa, it’s a session; and it’s a pretty good one.

Deep Thoughts #291

I’ll bet Taylor Swift is proud that her social media trolls are sycophantic slackjaws with no idea how to write a complete fucking sentence.

Deep Thoughts #290

And I get that Cunt Manchin calls itself a Democrat; but it’s a fucking liar, and it should die in a fire along with all of the Republicans.

Deep Thoughts #289

Elaine Chao’s wife is a worthless fucking cunt, but these two living abortions are nearly as bad. The Republican party needs to fucking die.

Deep Thoughts #288

Am I fucking crazy, or are Susan Collins and Joe Manchin for once in their ridiculous lives not being useless pieces of obstructionist shit?

Deep Thoughts #287

There is no room—anywhere—for conservative thought. You are ignorant and were raised incorrectly. Step aside, and let the world pass you by.

Deep Thoughts #286

If you are a Republican in the House of Representatives and your name is not on this list, then you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Resign.

Deep Thoughts #285

What are the chances that Senate Republicans grow spines and learn to walk upright like 47 members of their House caucus finally managed to?

465. Fat Head’s Brewery (Middleburg Heights, OH) - IBU-sive

“Heavy doses of citra and mosaic hops together with strata layered-in lend resinous aromatics. Tropical and citrus flavors of pineapple and orange. Light caramel malt sweetness with medium bitterness.”

And you’d think that the bitterness would be off the charts with a name like “IBU-sive.” The one I had on tap at the Off Broadway Taproom in Madison, Indiana, last week had all kinds of lovely fruit flavors going on. This one, out of a can from a six-pack I bought at Stoney’s the other day, is not as dynamic. Mostly pine, with a little bit of fruit, and practically no bitterness at all. So much better on tap than out of a can that I want to plan our next three-day weekend for Cleveland and Cuyahoga Valley National Park so I can try some of their stuff in the taproom.

464. Maine Beer Company (Freeport, ME) - Lunch

“Lunch is a special whale that has been spotted off the Maine coast since 1982. She has what looks like a bite taken out of her fin, which adds to her unique character. We dedicate this beer to her determination and persistence. Keep on swimming! Aromas of orange, grapefruit, and lemon with pine and herbal undertones. Tropical notes of guava and papaya with subtle caramel and malt sweetness.”

Would like to have to tried more than one of these, but they were $11 for a half-liter bottle—and even when you’re on vacation and not thinking about money in exactly the same way you think about money when you’re not on vacation, that’s still a bit much to pay for what is essentially a pint of beer. I don’t think there’s as much going on here as whoever wrote the ad copy for the website does, but it’s not bad. It’s crisp and dry, with lots of carbonation, and the flavors don’t linger; and even though it clocks in at 7% ABV, it doesn’t feel big or heavy at all.

Deep Thoughts #284

If you voted for Donald Trump—ever—you are an ignorant person who did not pay enough attention in school. (Do they have school in Kentucky?)

463. Fat Head’s Brewery (Middleburg Heights, OH) - Benjamin Danklin

“Loaded up like a lightning rod of lupulin, this celebratory IPA is full of dank aromas and bold citrus, mango, and pine flavors. Proof that God wants us to be hoppy!”

Um. Do I have to stand up and take off my hat before I drink the fucking thing? We were late to the Indians game the other night because I had to work, so I missed all that national anthem shit—but then they played a canned version of it before the Victory Field “fireworks,” so I had to stand up anyway. Then some yo-yo sang “God Bless America,” but I’ll be fucked if I’m standing up for that one. I still enjoy Fat Head’s beers, but now I sort of can’t help but wonder if I’m providing material support to Republicans when I buy their stuff. I hate the thought of that, but I live in Indiana, so what are you going to do? This is the least impressive beer I have tried from Fat Head’s (though that has nothing to do with the quasi-patriotic horseshit they’re pimping on the website description). (And you know what? I never even looked at the can for a description until just now; and would you believe that the first sentence is almost identical: “Loaded up like a lightning bolt of lupulin this celebratory IPA is loaded with notes of citrus, mango, and pine.”, but that the second sentence is much less Bible Belt when it says, “We’re convinced there’s a statesman in our history that wants us to be hoppy!” No grammar awards for these people, but they might not be the brain-dead Republican shit stains it was starting to sound like they might be.) The beer isn’t bad, but it isn’t great; and if they are Republicans, then I’m fucking done. (I get that there’s no real way to know if someone is a Republican, but wouldn’t it be great if they glowed, or something? So you could cross the street before they got close enough to touch you?) No more to say. I’m pretty fucking disappointed today.