Deep Thoughts #264

And here is yet another candy-ass Republican shit stain, pandering to the Trumpy mouth-breathers who control the fate of its useless career.

Deep Thoughts #263

So Republicans once again prove to be spineless cowards living in fear of misinformed Trumpy hilljack constituents. What a fucking surprise.

388. 18th Street Brewery (Hammond, IN) - Blud In Blud Out

“Mexican-style lager brewed with Bloody Butcher Corn & Blood Orange Puree.”

Very light, crisp lager, with a tiny hint of either orange or citrus on the back end—but it’s barely there. Not at all bad, just not very impressive.

389. 18th Street Brewery (Hammond, IN) - Pins and Needles

“New England style Double Dry Hopped Double IPA with Mosaic and Simcoe hops.”

Big, sweet flavors of stone fruit up front, with an ultra-smooth finish. Doesn’t taste remotely as big as it is (8.5%). Lil’ bit o’ citrus on the back end as it warms up. It’s hard to argue with a beer as well made as this one, but if I had my druthers, it would be just a tad sharper.

387. 18th Street Brewery (Hammond, IN) - Crushed Marshmallow

“Imperial Fruited Berliner Sour with Raspberries, Black Berries, and Marshmallow.”

There’s a really nice balance here between the tart fruit flavor and the rich sweetness of the marshmallow—as well as the crisp, refreshing back end that always seems to distinguish a Berliner Weiss from other sours. Fruit and sour flavors replace some of the crispness as it warms up, and it’s not the most refreshing Berliner Weiss I’ve ever had; but it might be the most flavorful and complex.

386. Revolution Brewing (Chicago, IL) - Apollo Hero

“A shining champion arrives with a bright spectrum of complementary hops, guided by the dank, resinous Apollo. Complex hop expression lands in a soft, smooth body and finishes with a refreshing bite.”

I would not have said dank, because of course I would not have. There is a rounded, almost sweet flavor of stone fruit, but no bite, and nothing I would think of as either dank or resinous. But I don’t know shit about shit. Maybe the second one will offer me something in the way of instruction. I could open my own taproom and start making my own beer, and it would only cost something like half a mil, so I’m prolly just gonna keep shucking popcorn at the handful of far-north-side elderly who are willing to leave their homes for entertainment. When I do start brewing, it will be with Mosaic—which this one does not contain. So the circle is now complete; when I left you, I was but the learner—now I am the Master.

385. Revolution Brewing (Chicago, IL) - Mosaic Hero

“The namesake hop summons a lush monsoon of pineapple, mango, and papaya to wash over a lightly toasted body. The perfect tropical storm wraps up a light touch of pine for balance.”

Two Mosaics in a row is more of a happy accident than any kind of plan, and this one is hop forward in a way that I suspect the previous one wanted to be. Here we have pine and tropical fruit dancing together happily like George and Lorraine at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. (No, I’m not providing a link by way of explanation; if you need a link to appreciate that reference, then I can’t help you.) Is there a “lightly toasted body” floating around somewhere in the cheap seats? I can’t quite tell, but there are two more of these in this charming 12-pack. If I change my mind about it, I shall surely report it in a timely fashion. (But whether I discover that flavor or not, this is what I want a Mosaic IPA to be.)

384. Clown Shoes Beer (Boston, MA) - Space Cupcake

“Space Cake’s signature sweet malt backbone and juicy hop profile meets a sessionable 6% ABV in this American IPA. Mosaic hops are front and center in the citrusy aroma and flavor this delectable IPA presents.”

The “sweet malt backbone” is there for sure, but I don’t know about the rest of it. The first sip is very dry, but subsequent sips are somewhat smoother. I almost want to use the word “dank,” but I’m still not sure if I would be using it correctly. (You’d think I would have learned some shit by now, but I hear there’s this virus going around.) And just when I think I have a handle on what Mosaic tastes like, this fucker comes along and kicks me in the nuts. My vaccine’s computer chip tells me I should like this one, but the part of me that is struggling to remain free and sentient keeps trying to protest that this kind of sweetness is right on the edge of cloying—and not in a good way. (Is there any way in which cloying can be thought of as good? I feel like I used to know that.) The second one tastes pretty much the same, and I’m starting to feel like Dr. Jekyll toward the end of the story, when he realizes that the only thing that could turn him back into himself was an impure batch of a particular ingredient that he can never get again. The…horror!

Deep Thoughts #262

Immediately dropping the mask Nazism will not make up for how unfriendly and unwelcoming Trader Joe’s has been since the world shit the bed.

Deep Thoughts #261

A Wyoming Republican is undermining the party? Are you fucking kidding me? Y’all should stop fucking your sisters and start walking upright.

Deep Thoughts #260

Of course some Republicans voted against impeachment for fear of their lives. Republicans are fucking cowards. What moron doesn’t know this?

Deep Thoughts #259

And you were so stupid, ignorant, and misinformed that you voted for Trump twice!! A doctor should evaluate the extent of your brain damage.

Deep Thoughts #258

This country is fucked, and it’s all on the heads of those lowest-common-denominator rural hilljacks who were raised up by cornpone retards.

383. Metazoa Brewing Co. (Indianapolis, IN) - Crocodilian

“Floral and resinous pine aromas combine with a touch of bready malt flavor resulting in a hop-forward beer with a crisp, dry finish.”

I taste hop and pine, but not any bready malt; and the finish is bitter in an unsatisfying way. Metazoa is usually pretty solid, but this is a swing and a miss.

Deep Thoughts #257

You know how I can tell that Donald Trump isn’t done raping this country? I feel sympathy for an ultra-conservative Republican named Cheney.

382. Broad Ripple Brewpub (Indianapolis, IN) - Knee Socks

“This smoked IPA offers up a hop forward note of citrus and pine against a malt profile of caramel sweet, with a hint of smoke that develops more as it warms up.”

Alas, there was but one of these, and that was two days ago. If there was any smoke to it, then it really was just a hint—and most of that was lost in the bitter finish. Broad Ripple Brewpub is in the same boat as Scarlet Lane with me; I really want to like their beer, but I haven’t found the right ones yet.

381. 18th Street Brewery (Hammond, IN) - Act of Defiance

“Double IPA” is the best the interwebs can do for me, though their free-website-that-will-not-be-named page posted something about this being an OG Gary thing that they don’t do much anymore. I sort of bought the hype on that, but tried one at the bar when we had lunch yesterday, before I committed to a four-pack. That was the right call, as this is just a sweet IPA that tastes boozier as it gets warmer. But you know what? Even sub-par 18th Street is still better than most.

380. Black Circle Brewing Co. (Indianapolis, IN) - U-Haul to Jamaica

“Red Velvet Cake Pastry Stout w/Hibiscus, Coffee Beans, Cacao Nibs, Vanilla & Lactose”

Nice coffee up front, but it’s not overpowering. Everything else is sort of jumbled up, but not in a bad way. It’s both busy and beautiful, and it’s one of the best things Black Circle has done in a long time.

Deep Thoughts #256

Deficit-spending Republicans should stop complaining about “exploding debt.” Since we know they are ignorant, there is no need to advertise.