Deep Thoughts #174

Best thing about last night’s election is that Mike Delph now gets to shut his homophobic mouth and go the fuck home. Down with Republicans!

Deep Thoughts #173

People voted for Republicans last night. You are all ignorant. Every single one of you. The party of McConnell and Trump is no longer valid.

Deep Thoughts #172

Indiana is just a terrible state, filled almost all the way to the brim with ignorant bumpkins. I fucking hate that I live in this shithole.

60. Farm Island (Peak Brewing?) - Organic IPA

No description on the can, and no website, either. Scuttlebutt has it that this might be contracted to Trader Joe’s as a sort of once-removed house label. Very smooth and tropical, and since I also just had one of the aforementioned Citra Express ales from 18th Street, I’m on a little bit of a Citra overload. There is nothing at all wrong with that. And we’re going trick or treating soon. Fuck yeah.

59. 18th Street Brewery (Hammond, IN) - Citra Express Session Pale Ale

“All aboard the CITRA express! Like a rush hour train, we’ve packed more tropical, citrusy CITRA hops into this beer than should be allowed by law. Fare’s paid, next stop: Satisfaction.”

Love the Citra notes here, but even though it’s relatively punchy for a session at 5.8%, the flavor profile is very mild.

58. Evil Czech (Mishawaka, IN) - Evil Czechmunk

“Moderatly bitter American IPA with a medium dry body. A floral nose mingles with grape fruit (sic) and meyer lemon. Dry hopped with Centennial, Cascade and Ahtanum.”

I need to try this again when I haven’t been walking around the Irvington Halloween Festival all day, because it’s not even a little bit thirst-quenching. The flavors are spectacular, though. There’s a lot going on in this beer, but it’s pretty well-constructed. The bitterness makes it taste like it’s more potent than the 6.2% they advertise.

Deep Thoughts #171b

If you think it’s fake news because it was on CNN, you should ask your parents how often they dropped you on your head when you were a baby.

Deep Thoughts #171a

Hang on…are you telling me that science was right all along, and we’re to blame for global warming? What fucking dumb shit didn’t know that?

Deep Thoughts #170c

If you’re in charge of the weather, go wait in Harvey Weinstein’s hotel room until he comes out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a smile.

Deep Thoughts #170b

Since the rain fucks the Zombie Bike Ride every year, why don’t we cancel the motherfucker altoghether and think of something indoors to do?

Deep Thoughts #170a

Two years in a row rain has raped the Zombie Bike Ride. Whoever is in charge of the weather should be forced to have drinks with Bill Cosby.

57. Yee-Haw - IPA (Johnson City, TN)

“This IPA is the best of both coasts, with its West Coast style hop flavors and unfiltered New England style look. It packs a bitter punch while still being beautifully balanced. Medium bodied and straw colored, our IPA is true to style, with a strong fragrance of citrus and pine. For those who just can’t get enough hops, just say Yee-Haw!”

Balanced yes, but big and hoppy, not so much—though not in a bad way. The citrus is strong up front, and gets bigger as the beer warms up. I was impressed with almost nothing on our trip to the Smokies, at first (to be detailed in a National Novel Writing Month practice piece I still need to tinker with a bit); but now that we’ve been home a week, everything about the trip, including the beer, is beginning to reveal its charm.

56. Wiseacre Brewing Co. (Memphis, TN) - Ananda India Pale Ale

No description for this one, on their website or on the can. Very tropical flavor up front, with some moderate bitterness. There’s something a little bit round and sweet there, too—but just a little bit. I want to say it’s coconut, but I’m certainly no expert when it comes to sussing out the flavors in beer. Of the three I brought back from our trip to the Smokies, this is easily the most interesting.

55. Highland Brewing - Mandarina IPA

“Real oranges and citrusy hops blossom in this stunningly bright IPA.”

One of three regional beers I tried while we were in the Smokies a few weeks ago, from a brewery in Asheville, North Carolina. The flavors of both fruit and hops are very light, and it feels very refreshing at first, before giving way to a slightly bitter finish, just to make sure you don’t forget that it wants to be a hop-forward IPA.

54. 18th Street Brewery - Here Comes the Reaper

“An IPA coming in at 6.2% brewed with Mosaic and Chinook hops giving it a citrus boost with a spicy edge!”

I get more of a tropical taste than a spicy edge, but the light, lemony citrus is definitely in play. More refreshing and less aggressive than most IPAs.

53. Sun King - Foxy Jam Pants

“Foxy Jam Pants is an IPA brewed with a combination of southern hemisphere hops for balanced tart & juicy bitterness and cascades for a hint of citrus.”

A little bit pedestrian for a Sun King offering—especially a hoppy one—but somewhat made up for by a punchy 7% ABV, and very drinkable.

Deep Thoughts #169d

Every single one of you ignorant, racist peckerwoods needs to be at the zoo the next time a hungry tiger escapes and decides to eat someone.

Deep Thoughts #169c

Republicans who accuse Democrats of playing politics with Kavanaugh, after Mitch McConnell raped Merrick Garland, all need to die in a fire.

Deep Thoughts #169b

I feel bad for Mitch McConnell’s kids, biologically wired to love their dad, even though he is one of the worst human beings who ever lived.

Deep Thoughts #169a

Mitch McConnell is going to die one day, and I hope when he does that it is painful and he suffers and his children cry like fucking babies.