Deep Thoughts #332

Too bad there isn’t a real Batman with 86 stamped on one of those electrified Batarangs in his utility belt. (Read the article in the link.)

Cinema Observations #5

If you think it’s a good idea to buy yourself and your three little urchins three ICEEs, six boxes of candy, and a large popcorn with butter, then you’re too fucking stupid to have kids. (Too bad a superhero can’t travel back in time and prevent the tragedy of your reproduction.)

Cinema Observations #4

When you force your mainstream, fat-ass, Croc-wearing customters into buying large popcorns and large drinks because you eliminated the medium popcorns and medium drinks, then it can’t possibly be a surprise when your concession per caps shoot up into the $6- and $7-dollar range.

Cinema Observations #3

Some oblivious ass clown almost backed into me this afternoon while he was flailing about trying to read the menu board. You can imagine my fucking complete surprise when I discovered that he was holding one of the mini-one-sheets for Mission: Impossible 8 that we’re giving away.

Cinema Observations #2

The air conditioning isn’t working in cinemas 3 and 6. We’re supposed to tell the mainstream asswipes that it’s because we’re waiting on approval from above for needed repairs. That’s a lie. The truth is that our idiotically mismanaged dying excuse for a company is fucking broke.

Cinema Observations #1

The next Mission: Impossible 8-watching mainstream jackoff who looks at me sweeping up a popcorn spill while they are waddling toward their auditorium and then says, “You’ve done that before,” is getting locked in a hotel room with Donald Trump, Puff Daddy, and a pound of peyote.

Deep Thoughts #331

Is it just the Trumpy inbreeds who have no relationship with grammar, punctuation, and facts? Or is it all brain-dead social media fuckwads?