629. Big Lug Brewing Co. (Indianapolis, IN) - Gatekeeper

The descriptions are all over the place, so instead we’re just going to shoot from the hip on this one. It’s possibly the richest coffee stout I have ever tasted. The coffee flavor hits up front, and then lingers into the dry finish on the back end. The can says 6.66% ABV (which I can totally appreciate), and it sort of feels like it. Everything smooths out as it warms, and it remains one of the best stouts I have ever had—and easily the best Big Lug joint I have ever had.

Deep Thoughts #346

Talking monkeys who pay to see movies like Witches of Oz 2 need to be electrocuted in front of their inbred, ICEE-drinking living abortions.

Deep Thoughts #345

You bought a ticket for Witches of Oz 2 on Fandango, you can’t find your QR code, and you want me to fix it? Fuck off and die, inbred bitch.

Cinema Observations #8

The last person to leave last night was a cunt who fell asleep watching Witches of Oz 2. She had her laptop open and her skanky-ass bare feet up on her seat and the seat in front of her. This is why Wicked movies should be coat-hanger aborted as soon as they register a heartbeat.

628. Left Hand Brewing Co. (Longmont, CO) - Peanut Butter Milk Stout

“Rhythm and Blues. Batman and Robin. Peanut Butter and Chocolate. These classic duos never go out of style. Enter Peanut Butter Milk Stout. We took the pure milk chocolate bliss of our classic Milk Stout and added peanut buttery goodness. It’s like an adult peanut butter cup you can drink. It’s rich and decadent on the palate and lusciously lingers into a nutty, dry finish. A perfect pair you’ll want to share.”

Um. Since the writing is fucking terrible, I’m going to ignore the description. The first little taste of the beer, though, was pure magic—possibly the most peanut butter flavor I have ever experienced in a beer. Unfortunately, the peanut butter part gets lost in the other milk stout bits upon subsequent sips and as the beer warms. It’s also a touch too sweet for the ABV (6.2%). Not bad, by any means—but no match for Peanut Butter Busted Knuckle, either.

627. Brewery 33 (Logan, OH) - CCC Coconut Cream Ale

“Smooth cream ale with coconut flavors.”

Tried this in the taproom a couple of days ago, and it was the best first sip of a beer I have had in a long time. There was light coconut flavor up front, and then the back end filled in with the almost-vanilla smoothness of a fine cream ale. The second one in the taproom the next day wasn’t as good as the first, but became more interesting as it warmed. The two out of the crowler (one last night at the cabin and one today after we got home and the bottle had bounced around in the car for four hours), also were not as good as the first—but contained echoes of that excellence. This place has come a long way since the first time we visited, four years ago while the world was still shitting the bed. That time, there wasn’t anything for Amy to drink, so I only had one beer and got some cans to go. This time, Amy tried a flight of mead and really enjoyed it. Just be sure to plan your visit for when it’s nice enough to sit outside, because the inside space is small and the bartenders can be surly.

626. Short’s Brewing Company (Elk Rapids, MI) - Pure Michigan® Fall IPA

“When fall arrives the air changes. You can smell it before you see the leaves start to change. And by the time the rolling glacial hills of our backyard finally explode with color so splendiferous you can see it from space, the harvest of the hops and malts we use in our Products of Passion is well underway. It’s tough to pick a favorite season, but fall is pure magic in Pure Michigan®.”

Um. That’s from the can; what they have on the website is only marginally better. Strong flavor of pine, especially as it warms. There’s also something soft and fruity that I can’t quite pin down. I’m going to go with stone fruit and maybe a tiny sliver of lemon zest. Another excellent Short’s joint.

625. Lakefront Brewery (Milwaukee, WI) - Pumpkin Lager

“Real pumpkin and pie spice join Munich and caramel malts in our brewhouse, then lager for four weeks in our cellar, and come together with all the flavors of a lush pumpkin pie.”

And on the can it says, “Lager brewed with real pumpkin, cinnamon, allspice, ginger, nutmeg, cloves and mace.” I think I can taste the mace. (This is a bad joke, which means it has a good chance of being confirmed as the next Secretary of Defense.) The cinnamon leads the way and sort of buries everything else, but the general effect is solid; and all of that baking spice imparts an unusually dry finish for a lager. The 6.1% ABV is just icing on the cake. I haven’t made a list of the best pumpkin beers I’ve tried, but this would have to be top five.

624. Little Kings (Cincinnati, OH) - Cream Ale

I seem to remember being a young child once, and that my uncle from California did not come around much. When he did, and he came to our house (double down on the “did not come around much”), I seem to recall that he sometimes brought six of these to share with my dad. I might be misremembering that; but there are very few people left alive on Earth who could say for sure that I am. Regardless, my dad and my uncle both enjoyed beer; and I am almost positive that this is one they enjoyed together at some time in the past. I’ve always sort of wanted to try one, so here we are; and it tastes just fine, though with all of the memories kicking around in the background of it, I would probably dote on it even if it tasted like cat piss. (It does not.)

623. Dogfish Head (Milton, DE) - Punkin Ale

“A full-bodied brown ale brewed with real pumpkin, brown sugar, allspice, nutmeg & cinnamon. Enjoy smooth pumpkin & fall spices.”

Oddly light for its 7% ABV, but the flavors work well together. This and the previous two came from the same variety pack and were all just a tad too carbonated. It’s possible I have come to like seasonal pumpkin ales too much, and have therefore ratcheted my expectations up to an unrealistic degree. I’m not sure if this beer is disappointing or if it’s just not quite as good as the previous two. (But again, I have two more cans and will almost certainly revisit.)

622. Dogfish Head (Milton, DE) - Raison D’Etre

“First released in 1995 at our brewpub, Raison D’Etre is a deep mahogany, Belgian-style ale brewed with beet sugar, raisins & a sense of purpose. Enjoy the complex fruits & rich maltiness that make this beer so distinct.”

This is a spectacular combination of flavors that almost tastes like the oatmeal with raisins that my mom used to make for breakfast when I was a kid. It opens up beautifully as it warms, and the high ABV (8%) balances the sweetness from the raisins and the beet sugar very well. Not sure it needs the Belgian yeast with everything else that’s going on; but I’ve got two more cans from the variety pack, so maybe we’ll revisit.

621. Dogfish Head (Milton, DE) - Chicory Stout

“First released in 1995 at our brewpub, Chicory Stout is a rich, dark brew smoothed out with a touch of roasted chicory, licorice root, and coffee. Enjoy its bold flavor and notes of roasted coffee.”

I was oddly sort of hoping for a moderate hit of licorice up front, but I’m not getting it with this first one. I don’t get a lot of coffee flavor, either—but the bitterness from the chicory and the coffee give it a nice finish. The 5.2% ABV is a nice change of pace; I don’t necessarily think that a bold, flavorful stout also needs to be big and boozy every time.

620. Rogue Ales (Newport, OR) - Berry Blonde

“Among Oregon’s tangled vines and brambles thrive the sweet marionberries and juicy plums that burst forth in our Berry Blonde Ale. This berry blonde ale presents a refreshing blend of marionberry and plum flavors, balanced by a light biscuity malt backbone and subtle floral hops. With a clean finish, it offers a delightful harmony of fruity sweetness and crisp drinkability.”

It’s both sweet and dry, with a strong fruit flavor that suggests a perfect combination of the tart marionberry and the sweet plum. The blonde ale backbone lets the fruit steal the show while the beer is cold, and then makes its slightly malty voice heard once the beer starts to warm. Very well done.

Deep Thoughts #344

Keith Olbermann used to have a bit called “Worst Person in the World.” But with Adolfs Musk and Trump both alive, how can you pick just one?

Deep Thoughts #343

The sun will supernova before all you Trumpy sister-fuckers cotton to the fact that your rapist savior has been lying to you the whole time.

Deep Thoughts #342

And of course, by severe consequences, Tangerine Rapist means that he will be running for President in Russia after we kick his fat ass out.

Deep Thoughts #341

It is so not surprising that monkeys who would vote for Donald Trump also provide most of whatever it is that Large Language Models “learn.”

619. DuClaw Brewing Co. (Ewing, NJ) - Sweet Baby Pumpkin!

“Nothing says fall is here like pumpkin spice lattes [sic] taking over every coffee shop in America. Now it’s taking over your favorite brewery too! The new addition to the ‘Sweet Baby’ family combines pumpkin spice flavor and notes of coffee in a smooth and creamy porter.”

(I’m not sure if this counts as a New Jersey beer or a Maryland beer, and I’m not going to waste your time with semantic quibbles. DuClaw [Rosedale, MD] was apparently acquired by River Horse [Ewing, NJ], but I’m not finding much in the way of useful information on either of their websites. I’m going with New Jersey, which makes it my first New Jersey beer and gets me to 32 states. If I have misapprehended the beer’s provenance, I will be glad to update the entry.)

Okay, and now that we have that shit out of the way, were we talking about a beer? Yes, we were; and there is some very nice pumpkin aroma on the nose, but everything else they are shooting for gets a little bit lost on the palate. I don’t really get much of any particular flavor, and the whole thing feels a little thin—even after it warms up.