Friday, August 22, 2008

I'm Not Keeping Track Because I Don't Care

I don't give a frog's fat ass how many houses John McCain has. I also don't care whether or not he can remember how many houses he has. Why not ask Cindy? Maybe she knows. I suppose, however, that that might depend on which half of her brain she's been using to store that knowledge. (Get it?) (That was a joke.) Michael Phelps just won his ninth gold medal for most mentions by a television broadcaster during the course of a single Olympics, and people really care about how many houses John McCain has? (That was a joke, too.) We the people would never elect Cletus from down in the holler to be President, so why do we pretend that it's a problem to elect someone who is super-rich and out of touch with ordinary Americans? (That sort of sounded like a joke, but wasn't.) They're all super-rich and out of touch with the base (or qaeda, if you will) - especially the ones in the Senate, who never have to worry about paying for health care again. (That should be a joke, but isn't.)

This whole business of electing people to office has gotten badly out of control and needs to be completely revamped. First step: Ban television ads. All of them. Forever. This would have the added benefit of fixing all of that campaign finance nonsense. Second step: Force people to prove that their voices deserve to be heard. The people who think Barack Obama is a Muslim? No vote for you! The people who think John McCain fathered a bastard child in a Dhaka whorehouse? No vote for you! Anyone who would have voted for Mike Huckabee? No vote for you! People who take Rush Limbaugh seriously? No vote for you! Got a Power Of Pride sticker on your vehicle? No vote for you! (Speaking of those, has anybody seen one of those imbecilic stickers on a Japanese or German vehicle? Or on one that does not appear to be in desperate need of at least one major repair?)

Ugh. So there's a little rant, I guess. And all of that without having heard who Obama's running mate will be. So help me Darwin, if it's Evan Bayh, I may just give up on electoral politics and start writing in names of Muppets. The only thing that would mitigate Obama's selecting Bayh would be if McCain took Bobby Jindal as his running mate - but surely neither of them is that stupid, right?


Prime Mover said...

There's my boy, welcome back! There are some here in Indy that would just crap a solid gold brick if Bayh is the running mate, they think the guy is god. I don't care who Obama chooses b/c it really doesn't matter, whoever it is will be propped up and put on a solid gold altar for the media to lavish until November. As for McCain (or Casper the friendly ghost) I'm kinda hoping he goes nuts and chooses Lieberman or Guiliani b/c you know Republicans will have to vote for them no matter what. They might vote with thumb and forefinger firmly pinching the nose but they will do it b/c their hatred of Obama is thick. What really worries me are the people they choose for their cabinet, on both sides.

p.s. I covered the internet for Al Gore hypocrite stories for you but there were so many I just stopped (he bought a huge boat by the way). Let's just agree to disagree. If you agree with that.

Godfather Weilhammer said...

Well put, John-O. Couldn't agree more with you. I'm waiting for the commercial where Michael Phelps tries to sell you shaving gel for your pubes. Or maybe an Obama Soul-Glo commercial. Or even funnier, a Depends commercial with McCain.

The political arena needs to be revamped, for sure.