Thursday, December 01, 2016

Or Skip the Amendment Process Altogether

I still haven't made up my mind as to the best course of action to protest the abortion of reason that took place on November 8, 2016. Sometimes I just want to vent my spleen in the most vulgar way possible, partly because I know there is no fixing this. The people who voted for Donald Trump are like repeat-offender child molesters: there is simply no way to correct what is wrong with these knuckle-draggers. Michael Shannon is absolutely right when he says, "[I]f you're voting from Trump, it's time for the urn."

Other times, I think it makes sense to be stoic and roll with the punches. After all, this country has survived cartoonish goofballs in a lot of big offices - Ah-nold (a sexual predator like Trump) did two terms as the governor of the most important state in the Union, and it survived; Ronald Reagan was a puppet who did more to drive the rich and poor apart than any other President in history, and yet the country abides; Jesse "The Body" Ventura served a term as governor of Minnesota, and yet that state still had the good sense to send Al Franken to the Senate; George W. Bush destroyed the Supreme Court by replacing Sandra Day O'Connor with Samuel Alito, and yet that very same court voted to uphold the Affordable Care Act.

Twice.

And, of course, don't forget the most cartoonish of them all, the Lipstick Pig herself, former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, a talking bobblehead.

In a column for the New York Times, writer Roxane Gay, who is both brilliant and crass, and, therefore, beloved by me, put it very simply when she wrote, "The world will not end because of a Trump presidency."

I can't even sit back and hope that Donald Trump dies, because then Mike Pence would be President; and I'm not sure he would be any better than the Nazi dumpster fire. (Oops, there went my spleen for just a second.) He looks and sounds more reasonable than Donald Trump, but that's sort of like saying Ayman al-Zawahiri is less bad than Osama bin Laden by dint of the fact that he's a doctor. (Damnit. Spleen again.)

See where this is going? Remember how Dr. Jekyll couldn't stop turning into Mr. Hyde by the end of the story?

BUT WAIT A MINUTE! Stay with me. Stay with me.

Instead of petitioning your elected officials to support the Barbara Boxer bill to abolish the Electoral College, petition your local elected officials to pass a National Popular Vote bill that would bypass the sclerotic joke of an institution that Congress has become and guarantee that the winner of the popular vote would also win the Electoral College. The bill's website, linked above, has seen a huge surge in traffic and support since November 8th - and will only get more popular once the Nazi dumpster fire takes office and starts fucking the country in the ass. (Spleen. You can't stop it. You can only hope to contain it.)

And after all, it's only four years, right? The Retardlicans will get torched in the 2018 midterms, and there will be open speculation about running Mike Pence against the Drumpf in the primary. If the midterms go really well for the Democrats, you may even see the Warren/Booker ticket start to take shape a mere two years from now. And then in 2020, the Democrats win back nearly everything, including both houses of Congress. The icing on the cake, of course, will be the 2020 census, and the opportunity to re-draw the congressional districts. The Supreme Court obviously wasn't enough of a reason to get more Democrats to the polls this year. Hopefully they will do a better job of understanding the big picture issues four years from now.

In the meantime, this Dude abides; but I reserve the right to vent my spleen at the slightest provocation, or even for no good reason at all. (Also the right to move to Guatemala if things get really bad.)

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Support a Bill to Abolish the Electoral College

There is no immediate remedy to the electoral miscarriage that occurred on Tuesday, November 8, 2016, a day that I suspect will live in infamy in the annals of the history of this (now much more rapidly) fading republic. For the second time in five elections, a Democrat won the popular vote and will be prevented from becoming President of the United States by the results in the Electoral College; and for the second time in four elections, the American people were tragically misled about the Democratic nominee—by the T. Boone Pickens-backed Vietnam-era Swift Boat lies about John Kerry in 2004, and by the gross distortions concerning Hillary Clinton’s private email server in 2016.

It is long past time to abolish the antiquated Electoral College and move to direct popular election of the President and Vice President. Senator Barbara Boxer of California has introduced a bill to do just that. There will be tremendous opposition to this bill, and it will almost certainly be voted down, if it even comes up for a vote. The full Senate, currently led by impotent jackass Mitch McConnell, is likely to do nothing more than glare in Boxer’s general direction while watching her bill wither on the vine. There would have to be an astonishing groundswell of popular support for the bill to even get a hearing in committee.

But anything is possible. Donald Trump is a Nazi, and his election is a repudiation of every single value to which the idea of the United States of America has ever aspired. Write to your elected officials and urge them to support this important bill. Nothing can be done to prevent an unfit psychopath from becoming the leader of the free world on January 20, 2017; but by passing this bill and amending the United States Constitution, we can almost certainly ensure that it will never happen again.

Monday, November 14, 2016

The Wisdom of the Trumpskyite #1

The guv’ment cain’t take mah guns away, and they cain’t make me get no health care, but they gotta get me a job. I deserve it as a Amer’can!

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Deep Thoughts #137

When you register as Republican now, do you get a fitted sheet and hood, or is it one-size-fits-all, like your plastic mesh John Deere caps?

Sunday, November 06, 2016

Deep Thoughts #136

The Drumpf will get about 70 million votes. If we offer those fuckers the Gulf States, could they please move down there and fucking secede?

Deep Thoughts #135

If you “think” either Benghazi or emails are relevant, you are not only immune to facts and reason, you’re also a sexist fucking misogynist.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Deep Thoughts #134

If you asked me whether Americans were more ignorant about Hillary Clinton or the Affordable Care Act, I’m not sure what my answer would be.

Deep Thoughts #133

Remember debtors’ prison? We should have an intellectual version in Siberia, and ship the sexist anti-Hillary Clinton dullards there to die.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Deep Thoughts #132

People as mentally deficient as the mort at 0:54 in this video should not be allowed to vote. He also needs lessons on how not to be sexist.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Deep Thoughts #131

You have been misinformed about Hillary Clinton, but you have time for some remedial learning before the election. Read this, or don’t vote.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Deep Thoughts #130

To the people who call Hillary Clinton a liar but then turn around and support Donald Trump: How do you fucking retards not shit yourselves?

Monday, October 10, 2016

Deep Thoughts #129

Hillary Clinton is one of the most qualified Presidential candidates ever. If you don’t recognize this, you are ignorant; please don’t vote.