Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Deep Thoughts #143

Supporting Herr Trump is enough reason to bash someone, but the carnival scrambler that is Scott Baio keeps talking and giving us even more!

Deep Thoughts #142

Someone should conduct a study so that we can prove empirically that Scott Baio’s brain was more addled than Erin Moran’s this past weekend.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Deep Thoughts #141

Republicans do not believe in government, yet ask you to vote for them to work in…government. Can these monkeys please fucking die, already?

Deep Thoughts #140

I got to thinking this one should be more meta than deep; but since this is all there is to it, maybe neither of those qualifiers qualifies.

Deep Thoughts #139

To Mike Pence: Take your pretentious “Christian first” shit and go back to Columbus where you fucking belong, you cocaine-haired misogynist.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

And Even Another Way is, He Was Thrown Out of a Window, by Marsellus, Because of You.

I don't regret supporting Hillary Clinton in the 2016 election. Like most folks, I never really believed that a half-melted Cabbage Patch doll* could win the presidency; but I also had a hard time believing that a real liberal like Bernie Sanders could drive more than his wing of the Democratic party to the polls. I don't think the lesson of hindsight is that Bernie should have gotten the nomination; I think the lesson of hindsight is that we should have recognized the danger of Trump's insurgency and done more to shore up support for Clinton in the Rust Belt states that turned the election for the Nazi dumpster fire - Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, and Wisconsin.

Still...every now and then...I guess you can't help but wonder...

"I"ll never hold what could've been...on a cold...and lone-LEE NIGHT!"

(You know you belted the part from the end of the song. So did I.)

Whence this bizarre outpouring of affection for Senator Bernie Sanders? Heather included a link to the following tweet of his in a comment to one of my previous posts:

*—I love you, Sadie Stein!

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

More Inauguration Photos of the National Mall

One is from Reuters, and I don't remember where I got the other one. It was on a flash drive I use for collecting evidence against the evil empire at the old juke joint. If I've breached someone's copyright, go fuck yourself. (If you're a Republican and you voted for the Nazi in the Oval Office. If you are otherwise, just give me a shout out, and I'll fix it.) Posting as many pictures as I can find of the difference in crowd size at the two inaugurations isn't going to accomplish anything; I am well aware of that.

Uncredited, due to journalistic ineptitude of blog author.


But I don't know if I am going to survive the next four years. I haven't been able to think of how to affect this disaster in a positive way. I wrote in a previous post about how I was on the fence as to whether apoplectic rage or constructive criticism was the appropriate response to a Cheeto-hued despot (which description I first saw on the unofficial Twitter account for Badlands National Park, but which has since been removed), and I am leaning toward constructive criticism - though I don't believe either one is going to have much impact. If a Senate committee can endorse the nomination of Betsy DeVos, possibly the most ridiculous upright speech-capable organism with opposable thumbs ever to be nominated for a Cabinet-level position, then I mean what the fucking fuck?

Grizzlies? Really?

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Illegitimate President Donald J. Trump is a Fucking Liar

There were more people on the National Mall to watch the inauguration in 2009 than there were in 2017. People who claim otherwise, including the illegitimate Nazi currently occupying the White House in direct contravention of the will of the people of the United States, as well as the mental furball he appointed as Press Secretary, are liars. Even Fox News posted a story confirming that Trump had lied. (They didn't say he lied, or call him a liar, or post the widely-shared comparison photo - but they're spineless weasels who think Sean Hannity is a good idea. What can you do?)

The New York Times, a real journalism operation, actually posted two shots of each inauguration, as well as an illustration of the areas on the mall with the highest concentrations of people. They hedge just a touch by noting that it was cloudy for the inauguration of the dumpster fire, a condition that would impede a more empirical illustration of the difference in crowd size.

But give that one a second. It was sunny for the inauguration of Barack Obama and cloudy for the inauguration of his illegitimate and unwanted successor. Even the weather knows this fucking turd is a bad idea.

What follows are some of the versions of this photo that I have so far collected.

The Guardian

New York Times

The original National Parks Service tweet that made the unwanted President want to cry.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Deep Thoughts #138

Meet the dishonorable retard Lamar Alexander, the latest Retardlican to be confirmed by his verbal diarrhea as a dumbfuck piece of ringworm.

Friday, January 20, 2017


On November 2, 2016, the Chicago Cubs won the World Series for the first since 1908. Six days later, a Nazi dumpster fire was elected President of the United States. Many of the teams that win sports championships are invited to the White House to meet the President, and I began to worry that the Cubs would not be invited to Washington until after President Obama had left office and the Nazi dumpster fire had taken over. I can't even imagine how disappointing it would have been for the Cubs if they had been forced to shake hands with a shit stain like Don Führer, after having accomplished something as momentous as winning their first World Series in 108 years.

As luck would have it, though, they were invited to Washington this past Monday, and they got to shake hands with the greatest President in my lifetime, Mr. Barack Obama - who also happens to be from Chicago; and President Obama, of course, delivered some thoughtful and eloquent remarks on this historic occasion. We will miss President Obama and his strong leadership and poetic words, but I am so happy that this World Series championship in particular (as good as the Cubs are right now, it probably won't be 108 more years before another one) came while President Obama was still in office.

Thursday, December 01, 2016

Or Skip the Amendment Process Altogether

I still haven't made up my mind as to the best course of action to protest the abortion of reason that took place on November 8, 2016. Sometimes I just want to vent my spleen in the most vulgar way possible, partly because I know there is no fixing this. The people who voted for Donald Trump are like repeat-offender child molesters: there is simply no way to correct what is wrong with these knuckle-draggers. Michael Shannon is absolutely right when he says, "[I]f you're voting for Trump, it's time for the urn."

Other times, I think it makes sense to be stoic and roll with the punches. After all, this country has survived cartoonish goofballs in a lot of big offices - Ah-nold (a sexual predator like Trump) did two terms as the governor of the most important state in the Union, and it survived; Ronald Reagan was a puppet who did more to drive the rich and poor apart than any other President in history, and yet the country abides; Jesse "The Body" Ventura served a term as governor of Minnesota, and yet that state still had the good sense to send Al Franken to the Senate; George W. Bush destroyed the Supreme Court by replacing Sandra Day O'Connor with Samuel Alito, and yet that very same court voted to uphold the Affordable Care Act.


And, of course, don't forget the most cartoonish of them all, the Lipstick Pig herself, former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, a talking bobblehead.

In a column for the New York Times, writer Roxane Gay, who is both brilliant and crass, and, therefore, beloved by me, put it very simply when she wrote, "The world will not end because of a Trump presidency."

I can't even sit back and hope that Donald Trump dies, because then Mike Pence would be President; and I'm not sure he would be any better than the Nazi dumpster fire. (Oops, there went my spleen for just a second.) He looks and sounds more reasonable than Donald Trump, but that's sort of like saying Ayman al-Zawahiri is less bad than Osama bin Laden by dint of the fact that he's a doctor. (Damnit. Spleen again.)

See where this is going? Remember how Dr. Jekyll couldn't stop turning into Mr. Hyde by the end of the story?

BUT WAIT A MINUTE! Stay with me. Stay with me.

Instead of petitioning your elected officials to support the Barbara Boxer bill to abolish the Electoral College, petition your local elected officials to pass a National Popular Vote bill that would bypass the sclerotic joke of an institution that Congress has become and guarantee that the winner of the popular vote would also win the Electoral College. The bill's website, linked above, has seen a huge surge in traffic and support since November 8th - and will only get more popular once the Nazi dumpster fire takes office and starts fucking the country in the ass. (Spleen. You can't stop it. You can only hope to contain it.)

And after all, it's only four years, right? The Retardlicans will get torched in the 2018 midterms, and there will be open speculation about running Mike Pence against the Drumpf in the primary. If the midterms go really well for the Democrats, you may even see the Warren/Booker ticket start to take shape a mere two years from now. And then in 2020, the Democrats win back nearly everything, including both houses of Congress. The icing on the cake, of course, will be the 2020 census, and the opportunity to re-draw the congressional districts. The Supreme Court obviously wasn't enough of a reason to get more Democrats to the polls this year. Hopefully they will do a better job of understanding the big picture issues four years from now.

In the meantime, this Dude abides; but I reserve the right to vent my spleen at the slightest provocation, or even for no good reason at all. (Also the right to move to Guatemala if things get really bad.)

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Support a Bill to Abolish the Electoral College

There is no immediate remedy to the electoral miscarriage that occurred on Tuesday, November 8, 2016, a day that I suspect will live in infamy in the annals of the history of this (now much more rapidly) fading republic. For the second time in five elections, a Democrat won the popular vote and will be prevented from becoming President of the United States by the results in the Electoral College; and for the second time in four elections, the American people were tragically misled about the Democratic nominee—by the T. Boone Pickens-backed Vietnam-era Swift Boat lies about John Kerry in 2004, and by the gross distortions concerning Hillary Clinton’s private email server in 2016.

It is long past time to abolish the antiquated Electoral College and move to direct popular election of the President and Vice President. Senator Barbara Boxer of California has introduced a bill to do just that. There will be tremendous opposition to this bill, and it will almost certainly be voted down, if it even comes up for a vote. The full Senate, currently led by impotent jackass Mitch McConnell, is likely to do nothing more than glare in Boxer’s general direction while watching her bill wither on the vine. There would have to be an astonishing groundswell of popular support for the bill to even get a hearing in committee.

But anything is possible. Donald Trump is a Nazi, and his election is a repudiation of every single value to which the idea of the United States of America has ever aspired. Write to your elected officials and urge them to support this important bill. Nothing can be done to prevent an unfit psychopath from becoming the leader of the free world on January 20, 2017; but by passing this bill and amending the United States Constitution, we can almost certainly ensure that it will never happen again.

Monday, November 14, 2016

The Wisdom of the Trumpskyite #1

The guv’ment cain’t take mah guns away, and they cain’t make me get no health care, but they gotta get me a job. I deserve it as a Amer’can!