Sunday, December 24, 2017

Deep Thoughts #157

There is no valid reason it should pain me to include Joseph-Beth in my emporia, just because they exist in Lexington, Kenucky; but it does.

Friday, October 20, 2017

Deep Thoughts #156

This monkey is so ignorant that she is sure to be appointed to a senior Republican leadership position before the end of the weekend. Right?

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Wednesday, October 04, 2017

Deep Thoughts #154

It would be nice if the hillbillies stealing my yard signs would bring them all back. I’ll buy you tickets to the next Jason Aldean concert!

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

12. Horny Goat - Hopped Up and Horny

“We crafted this unique and refresing IPA using four different varieties of hops to impart citrus zest, pine notes and a refreshing floral aroma. We then dry hop the beer after the boil to complement the subtle malt backbone creating a complex and balanced beer that isn’t overly bitter like most IPAs on the market today.”

Also, I get a vague hit of Dark Eyes cherry-flavored vodka on the nose—and that just screams college. The malt backbone isn’t especially subtle, but it isn’t overwhelming, either. Hopped up just enough to keep that malt from being too bitter—but not nearly as accomplished as they would have you believe in the blurb on the side of the can.

11. Flat 12 - Hello, My Name is Amber

“Hoppier than its English cousins, this American amber ale’s matiness rolls across the palate and locks fingers with the spicy hop finish. Centennial hopped to the top end of the style, it maintains its composed American character throughout.”

I got a six-pack of this in 12-ounce cans, but didn’t pour any of them out into a mug until the last one; and that’s unfortunate, because this one is vastly more approachable when it has had a chance to breathe. It’s still pretty bitter, because of the heavy malt profile and the Centennial hops, but not quite as squirm-inducing as when experienced straight out of the can.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Deep Thoughts #153

Shut up, Donald. Shut your uninformed pie hole. You are a white supremacist. You are a Nazi. Most of all, you are a bad American. Apologize!

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Deep Thoughts #152c

And people are still appeasing this jackass. People are still being duped by Fox “News”. The terrorists won on 9/11. They are still winning.

Deep Thoughts #152b

He lies more than actual politicians, yet has the gall to call out ESPN for an “untruth” that is truer than most of his own verbal diarrhea.

Deep Thoughts #152a

Fake President Donald Trump stole the election from Hillary Clinton largely because uneducated assembly-line workers believed his many lies.

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Deep Thoughts #151

Maybe the only way men in Boston can get erections these days is by watching their “sports” teams cheat their way to “victory” all the time.

Deep Thoughts #150b

Texting is missing from contemporary fiction because texting makes people ridiculous, and you can’t have sympathy for ridiculous characters.

Deep Thoughts #150a

With the exception of a few terrible novels like Gone Girl and Fifty Shades of Grey, characters must be sympathetic to at least some degree.

Sunday, September 03, 2017

10. Sun King - Dragon's Delight Belgian Style Golden Ale

“Dragon’s Delight is a legendary Belgian-style ale formed over the flames of the golden dragon, with grain raided from the Drundag Ridge, and hops foraged from the Askrean Plains. Hoard this glorious golden ale while this dragon sleeps.”

This is the beer that Sun King brewed especially for the 2017 edition of Gen Con, and it’s all right. I guess. It’s bready and almost sweet, which is maybe supposed to disguise its high alcohol content—but it’s not my thing. Browsing the interwebs tells me the alcohol is 7.3%, but that’s either wrong, or my system metabolizes this brew in such a way that I don’t feel it. Not even a little. Maybe if I drank more than one at a time, but I didn’t like it enough to drink more than one—and it’s a limited edition, so I guess we’ll never know.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Deep Thoughts #149d

They can forestall embarrassment next time by voting less like uninformed retards and more like humanoids who stop to think before they act.

Deep Thoughts #149c

They own this racist old white man. The world would be a better place if they had not voted. Hopefully they all use effective birth control.

Deep Thoughts #149b

To paraphrase George Carlin, “Fuck [them] in the asshole with a big rubber dick. And then break it off and beat [them] with the rest of it.”

Deep Thoughts #149a

The people of Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin are embarrassed? Their aggregate 77,744-vote margin gave us a fake President. Fuck them.