Monday, September 24, 2007

Amusing Sports Anecdotes

Here’s a great quote from Len Pasquarelli, a senior writer for ESPN and one of two guys I always read when I want good quality NFL information (the other is John Clayton). The quote concerns Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman, who has had his ups and downs with the Bears over the years. Pasquarelli’s latest column discusses the idea that the Bears should finally sack up and bench Rex the Wonderdog, and I have no real opinion about this because it has no bearing on whether the Colts repeat as World Champions Of All Football. The Patriots and Colts are playing so well right now that there aren’t many teams in the AFC that can compete with them, and there is but one single, solitary team in the NFC that has any hope (the Dallas Cowboys).

Pasquarelli notes that Grossman was so bad Sunday night that it seemed as though the Bears were relying on a strategy of trying to hold Dallas to field goals and hoping that return man Devin Hester could run back every kick for a touchdown. Here’s the quote:

“Had Dallas kicker Nick Folk booted the ball into the Shedd Aquarium across the street from Soldier Field, Hester might have dived into the shark tank after it, hoping to swim his way to a touchdown.”

There’s something about quotes that reference landmarks outside the stadium as being potential fields of play that always amuses me. There was one from Keith Olbermann, many years ago now, when he was going through highlights of Morten Andersen, who at the time was kicking for New Orleans. The highlight reel showed Andersen makng a series of very long field goal kicks, and Olbermann narrated it something like this, though this is paraphrased:

“Morten Andersen from the fifty yard line...bang! Morten Andersen from downtown Shreveport...bang! Morten Andersen from an oil derrick in the gulf...bang!”

Can I get away with one more of these? This one was from at least as far back in the day as the previous one, and it was from Brett Haber, the former tag team partner of Craig Kilborn when they hosted the morning “Feel Good Edition” of SportsCenter. The highlights were (I think) of the Oklahoma State (nickname Cowboys) men’s basketball team, and the reel started out with a shot of their sideline mascot, dressed in cowboy garb and mugging for the camera. Haber’s quote, yelled out quite enthusiastically:

“Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!”


Last King of SCOOTland said...

OK, I'm officially on board. Actually, I have been since the KC game. He needs to be benched, and he will be. If not this week, then surely next week after what I'm sure would be another terrible game. I think the weight of all this has, to quote Homer Simpson, now crushed his spirit. Rex was never known as a mental marvel, and i just think the "head games" of the NFL are too much for him.

Now, I am all for Brian Griese, who has had some very good year with talent around him in Denver and Tampa, getting a shot. Will he fare better? Who knows. All I know is that the Bears have the best defense in football (when it doesn't have the pressure of pitching shutouts every week and is healthy) and the best special teams in football. That means they should have a shot at making and winning the Super Bowl. With Grossman, they will barely make the playoffs, and that is if GB remembers that Favre is ancient and they have no other real talent.

Oh, and yes, it was Oklahoma State.

Prime Mover said...

They should have benched Rexy (I don't think this one has the distance) Grossman last year. He was making some huge mistakes that normal quarterbacks just don't make. After the GB game where he and his team were hammered at home after numerous screw ups all he could say is "I was thinking about the new years day party too much tonight." WHAT? His ass should have been on the bench after that. But look who they have as back ups: Griese who has bombed on not one, not two but thrice teams and Kyle Orton. Beth Orton would be a better QB at this point. Why didn't they go after Leftwitch? I remember that Olberman quote, nice to reminice about the old days with Keith before Bush turned him into a raving lunatic. How are things working out for ol' Craigers now he's not on the Daily Show?

Shane M. White said...

"Show Don't Tell"???

I'm not sure how to take that...?

Hopefully it's nothing bad...

John-O said...

Certainly a way, the song is about the quest for truth, which is a way of satisfying a thirst for knowledge. I suspect we all have a thirst for knowledge to one degree or another - but you often write about things you have discovered while slaking your thirst for knowledge, so it seemed a good fit.

Of course, there are scads of Rush songs to choose from. Who knows, maybe you'll reappear one day as something else!

Shane M. White said...

See, I had not put together that it was a lyric from a song! Makes much better sense now - and THANK YOU for explaining it completely. I feel more knowledgeable now.. Perhaps I should blog about that!!!

Thanks, bro.

John-O said...

They're all titles of Rush songs. My dorkdom knows no bounds.

Prime Mover said...

Its better than "I Think I'm Going Bald" from the Caress of Steel album.